EDIT: Thank you all for your swift and heartwarming responses! 🩵

Background \ 37 years old, Sweden. I had a partner for eight years, married for four, before we amicably parted ways. After the breakup in 2021, I have been all alone. I barely have any friends. Severe depression set in two years ago, leading to long term sick leave from work. Antidepressants make me able to at least not stay catatonic in bed and two years of intense psychodynamic therapy has given me a lot of insights about my detrimental thought patterns.

Present situation \ I am a social person. I love people. I used to be everywhere, up in everybody’s business. Now, I fear new human contact. The loneliness is killing me. I am also a very physical and intimate person, but I have no idea how to make new friends or approach people. I cannot use dating apps. There is no way I could put my face “out there”, thinking that somebody would “swipe” at it or whatever.

What I have tried \ Sometimes, maybe once or twice a year, I muster the courage to ask people out as I’m sitting in a coffeeshop or the likes, but that’s it. The workplace is off limits. Tried making friends there. In six years, I finally made one, although most of the time I’ve just been frowned upon. The loneliness fuels my self loathing like crazy.

Question \ Please share any advice on how to pop this bubble of isolation. Please don’t tell me how hopeless it is not to go online.

  • lath@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    14 hours ago

    Might seem generic, so feel free to reject or criticize my opinion.

    You do something. Carpentry, pottery, gardening, birdwatching, jogging in the park, fishing, fix electronics etc and so on. If it’s something you like or think you could do it, start doing it.

    And then you ask questions when you’re stumped, you help others when they’re stuck and you trade barbs about it with one another. The point is that you don’t go out seeking connections, but you go out because what you do finds connections for you.

    So find something you like doing. I can assure you there are others who like doing that as well. You’ll have something in common. And that’s the start of your connections.

    • printf("%s", name);@piefed.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      2·
      14 hours ago

      I value your opinion and I think there is wisdom in not seeking connections but having them be a natural part of whatever activity that I otherwise do. 😊