EDIT: Thank you all for your swift and heartwarming responses! 🩵
Background \ 37 years old, Sweden. I had a partner for eight years, married for four, before we amicably parted ways. After the breakup in 2021, I have been all alone. I barely have any friends. Severe depression set in two years ago, leading to long term sick leave from work. Antidepressants make me able to at least not stay catatonic in bed and two years of intense psychodynamic therapy has given me a lot of insights about my detrimental thought patterns.
Present situation \ I am a social person. I love people. I used to be everywhere, up in everybody’s business. Now, I fear new human contact. The loneliness is killing me. I am also a very physical and intimate person, but I have no idea how to make new friends or approach people. I cannot use dating apps. There is no way I could put my face “out there”, thinking that somebody would “swipe” at it or whatever.
What I have tried \ Sometimes, maybe once or twice a year, I muster the courage to ask people out as I’m sitting in a coffeeshop or the likes, but that’s it. The workplace is off limits. Tried making friends there. In six years, I finally made one, although most of the time I’ve just been frowned upon. The loneliness fuels my self loathing like crazy.
Question \ Please share any advice on how to pop this bubble of isolation. Please don’t tell me how hopeless it is not to go online.
I’m in a similar situation. In November 2024, my wife left me. (We were together for twelve years), and with her, all of my local found family were stripped away. I’ve since tried to get involved in activism against the current regime (in the United States), but most fronts want me to be able to organize and host events and insist I should bring my friends. Well, I don’t have any friends.
(Off topic, I’m getting the sneaking suspicion political organization is essentially salesmanship, but for social causes or candidates for public office rather than products.)
I’m spectrum AF and suffer from major depression and tend to want to not engage someone if I suspect they’re busy or disinterested. I’m also super awkward in activity groups unless I understand the protocol already and know what I’m doing.
As such, I’m isolated in Midtown, Sacramento and am unbearably lonely much of the time. I’ve resorted to virtual support groups (via Zoom) but those are not the same.
Making friends is hard!
Thank you for sharing! Speaking from my own experience, activism can indeed give one a sense of purpose and comradeship. However, at least in the leftist circles that I have been with, just as you say, they often demand that you take an organizing or recruiting role, which simply didn’t work out with my depression. Not that I found that kind of cultist behavior attractive anyway… (Which isn’t to say that all leftist groups are like that. There is a syndicalist group in a town close to me that is fantastic, intersectional, welcoming and not forcing in any way, but that’s another topic.)
My doctor also encourages me to do CBT online, but I really don’t feel like it. doI want to try CBT considering the fact that psychodynamic therapy didn’t really “cure” anything, but not online.
Still, kuddos to you for trying out those Zoom groups! Stay strong! 🩵
Jag gjorde online KBT via 1177 för några år sedan, som en del av behandling av sömnproblem. Tyckte att det var lite onödigt då mitt problem inte var dåliga tankemönster utan snarare fysisk smärta. Trodde att det skulle vara väldigt opersonligt, men jag hade en terapeut som bokade avstämningar. Det var inte lika illa som jag trodde att det skulle vara. Effektiviteten skiljer sig väl från person till person.
Det kostar bara tid, och energi.
Tack för detta! Ska definitivt ge det en chans innan jag utesluter något.