So my little sister displays clear signs of both Autistic and ADHD but refuse to look into it. She a teen-ish. Everyone suspects she is autistic, both my parents and my other sister but if were to use intensive language here a bit, I would say she is very childish for someone going to high school. There are other reasons that makes me think she is autistic(and has adhd)

Just yesterday she mentioned she finds skin texture disgusting, and has to focus on other features in a person’s face and so gets distracted easily. She refuses to wear wet bathroom saddles. She is extremely touchy and clingy to both my mom and sister. She is stubborn as a well, always thinking she is in the right. She talks more like more like someone who learned to talk from just watching cartoons rather than other people. I could go on.

I admit, its probably my fault. I was more just pushy. I treated badly, telling her our father agrees with me and his word is law. I realise that doesn’t she want the stigma, that I am basically insuring she never wants to look into it. Its not a disease or cancer, the excuse of tough love is not applicable here.

I will just have to drop it, but it hurts me that she has resources that I didn’t have access to when I was her age.

  • Cactus_Head@programming.devOPEnglish
    56·
    21 days ago

    Her main problems are concentrating in lessons. We think she may have other learning disability and her grades are suffering for it.

    We intended to at least enroll her in summer courses but she’s as stubborn as ox. She thinks it is waste of money, feeling that she’s just lazy.

    I dont think your wrong though, both about me and her, I just dont know where to go from here.

    • acockworkorange@mander.xyzEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      The way to help her is not trying to change her mind. Show acceptance. You love her, but the way you manifest it hurts her.

      You have to learn how to love. I don’t mean care for her. I mean love, as in taking her in all: the good, the bad, the ugly.

      She’s allowed to be stubborn, sad, angry, suspicious. Do not admonish her for showing those “bad” emotions, specially if you don’t think they’re warranted. All you can do then is ask how she feels and whether she’d like to get a hug, or perhaps just be left alone.

      It’s going to take time. Building trust always does. But she won’t listen to you until you become a person she reaches out to when things get tough. Right now it sounds like she doesn’t feel you got her back.

      I sincerely hope for the both of you that you can deepen your relationship before you go live on your own. It really gets much much harder after that.