Every day just seems to bring more problems that accumulate faster than I can fix them.
One of those problems was finding a family friend dead on his bathroom floor. He had stopped taking his medications and replaced them with Busch. He spent his last few days in a drunken stupor until his heart gave out.
What I seem to be struggling with the most is that I’m not sad that he’s gone. I’m not even angry that he gave up. I think I’m jealous that he found a way out.

Wow, so sorry to hear that! Condolences.
Life is what we make it, IMHO. I hope you can comfort yourself for being the helper person your community needed.
Please continue to care for yourself, there is yet more good that you can do in this world ❤️