Every day just seems to bring more problems that accumulate faster than I can fix them.
One of those problems was finding a family friend dead on his bathroom floor. He had stopped taking his medications and replaced them with Busch. He spent his last few days in a drunken stupor until his heart gave out.
What I seem to be struggling with the most is that I’m not sad that he’s gone. I’m not even angry that he gave up. I think I’m jealous that he found a way out.
I just wanted to offer condolences and let you know that complicated feelings always come after death. You see things in a distorted way as a result. You feel this way now, you won’t later. Give yourself time to grieve.
Thank you! I’m already feeling much better than yesterday. It really is hard to see through the fog when you’re in the thick of it.
That’s great to hear! I know the fog well, it always ends eventually.