🦊

  • 0 Posts
  • 30 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
cake
Cake day: June 4th, 2025

help-circle



  • I’m not a cis man, but every man I’ve dated has had “friends”, but not people they can really talk to. Like, one guy I dated had a really big social circle and they regularly had gaming events. But he didn’t text or talk to anyone outside of planning and going to those events. Others had maybe one friend that they hung out with outside of work.

    It is sad. And it was jarring when I was young, because I had lots of friends I could turn to on a bad day or for something more serious. It makes me so angry with “the patriarchy”, because it isn’t just keeping women down, it’s also hurting and sometimes killing men.

    I had a cat die a very painful and sad death right in the veterinarian’s parking lot. I was completely devastated, but my poor boyfriend kept trying to hold back his tears because he “needed to be strong” for me. Bitch no, cry with me, that was super heavy. I’m going to carry that death with me until I die, and not just because my cat didn’t deserve that. It’s not fair for men to have this expectation that they need to hold back expressing emotion so they appear strong. (that particular ex also has a fear of dying, so he really needed to and should have felt free to express himself at that time)


  • The sheer number of men who suddenly have no support in their life because their relationship has ended, that soon struggle with suicidal thoughts should really point to the first thing you said. Men and women are socialized differently as children and this is one of the most common results when we reach adulthood. It will take an enormous shift in society and ingrained values to fix that

    That second point, yeah, women don’t need to get married to survive now. My grandmother couldn’t have her own bank account when she was a young adult, and banks would have laughed her out of town if she wanted a mortgage. My parents got married young because that was still kind of expected, especially in rural America. I haven’t dated in years, because it’s frustrating, and I have been able to, and lucky enough, to buy a home on my own finances. That’s not high standards, it’s just that I didn’t need to get hitched to have financial stability











  • She is unfortunately having other medical problems. The steroid either isn’t working anymore or she forgets that she isn’t in pain/expects certain touches to be painful, I’m not sure which.

    This cat has my whole heart. Like if soul mates could be pets, she’s mine.

    Thank you for sharing, and understanding the struggle with giving our little loved ones the life and death they deserve. I’m sorry that you had to make that choice, but I’m glad that you had the strength to do so for her.

    I think about my grandfather often since my little Ami has shown the same symptoms he had. I’ve always been so grateful that by the time the end came for him, it was quick, and I know that’s what he would have wanted. Perhaps that’s the view I need to keep for her


  • I had a cat with dementia when I was a kid, she didn’t make it past 7 years old. Now I have a 16yo cat who is starting to show the same signs. Today she nearly ran out of the house when I got home, and didn’t seem to recognize me. It’s rough.

    She’s curled up next to me rn, but I’m still thinking those hard thoughts like when do I make the choice to put her to sleep? I’m not ready for that, maybe never will be, but she’s always been a very frightened cat and she doesn’t deserve to feel more frightened because of dementia.





  • I struggled with night terrors from PTSD for a long time. Developed a binge drinking habit to try and cope, because I didn’t want to sleep anymore and had to knock myself out.

    Eventually I was able to get help. Two years with the right therapist (many more trying to find her) and I actually only get night terrors once a month or so now. That might sound like a lot, but weeks of refreshing sleep between episodes makes life so much easier to live. Things have taken a slight dive since the start of the year, but I know once politics and security are stable again I’ll be okay. Being able to rephrase my brain from “torturing” me to “coping any way it can” has helped, but I think the journey to dealing with nightmares is different for everyone