You’re included in that group :3

you never have to worry about your hair getting messed up if it was already a mess in the first place 🥲

It’s not really an ideological thing for me, and there is no logic behind how being perceived makes me feel. I’m not a trans woman because I think I should be free to be who I want; I am trans specifically because I have no choice in the who I am.

I too was taught that gender didn’t matter and that gender stereotypes and roles were only restrictive limitations. Ironically, this was a big reason as to why I didn’t figure out and accept who I was sooner. I definitely appreciated not needing to be manly, but I also felt like I shouldn’t mind what my gender is because the whole concept was repressive. I felt guilty for wanting to be girly, for wanting constructed aspects of gender like shaving my legs or meeting conventional standards of womanhood.

I still think the whole thing is silly, but I now know that my gender isn’t a choice. It’s not just easier and more comfortable to be feminine for me, it’s the only way I can really exist. If I don’t feel feminine enough, I literally feel like I want to die no matter what I want to believe. Me being this way doesn’t invalidate people who fall outside of the binary, as they have as little choice in who they are as I do. Even if someone can literally choose to be whatever gender they want, they didn’t choose to have that privilege.

Staying closeted because you’re afraid that you’ll never be feminine enough doesn’t make you cis. Gender dysphoria does not go away on its own and will haunt you until you do something about it. Voice training is hard, but you’d be surprised by how much one’s voice can actually change.

my reaction when people find my posts relatable and emotionally salient:

you also probably have strong girlsmell ✨

sorry, I don’t make the rules. Not only are you likely to be more feminine than you think, you’re likely cuter than you think as well

What if I told you that most of those people probably aren’t just being nice, but referring to you in the way that makes the most sense. So many transfems are far more feminine than they think

but consider: the label is just another part of gender expression that gives me euphoria

Accidental allies, holy shit

In my experience, it depends on if they genuinely hate all men or not. When you see the opposite gender as an enemy you need to defeat, you stop seeing them as people. From there, it’s easy to apply that toxicity to other people of your gender that you see as traitors to your cause. You start to judge everyone by their adherence to gender roles, even if you see yourself as smarter than others who uphold the patriarchy. That is the nature of an incel regardless of if their gender.

That said, I anecdotally find that sapphics are rarely incels, even if they get no bitches. It’s easier to not be consumed by your resentment of men when you don’t even need date them (note, that this is distinctly different from political lesbians who are only sapphic for ideological reasons; those people are trash). Even if one casually thinks all men are trash, they aren’t forced into conflict with men unless those men approach them first. I suspect it’s the same with gay men who are lonely; even when they are misogynistic, it’s not as much of a problem.

I mostly got over the imposter syndrome, but only because I came to recognize that being trans wasn’t my choice. I had the need to be a woman thrust upon me, and in many ways it wasn’t what I wanted. I am not brave. I am a coward. All I wanted my entire life was to be as “normal” and boring as possible because growing up a weirdo hurt so much.

I only transitioned when I felt like the alternative was suicide, and it made me happier than I had ever been in my life. Every time I’ve considered the idea that I might not be trans, I laugh because the notion is so absurd at this point. My inner demon plotting my downfall doesn’t even try to doubt my gender anymore, because the evidence that I’m trans is just too definitive.

Besides, I became far closer to normal after transitioning than I had ever been before. Feeling comfortable in my gender allowed me socialize far more naturally and made me feel like I actually had a place. I didn’t really feel like a person in the past, only a paper mache imitation of what a person was. It wasn’t sticking out that made me feel so abnormal back then; it was not being myself.

The Peanuts have cracked!

I too do not miss Reddit

oh God, what happened?

trans Inclusionary creep

There are 1 or 2 guys I used to know for me as well, but those people are almost certainly married at this point because they were total catches