I still use the song “Operator Plays a Little Ping Pong” from the Neverhood OST as my ringtone. Never fails to amuse.

I realized I am not trans but incredibly envious of hot women and their ability to have sex whenever they like. WHENEVER they like. That sometimes makes me dream of being a woman, having this privilege to act all decent but blow and fu** as often as I please.

But then I realize that as an ugly middle aged fuck, my biggest fantasy always was being sexually attractive (at least a little bit), so I keep searching the web for porn that fuels this fantasy, quietly weeping inside and pathetically wanking my way to my grave.