Just an anime nerd who also has a fascination with programming language design
Lol I’m NGL half of what made me never feel compelled to contribute on reddit and just be a lurker was how some people seemed to not have “conversations” but rather just talk over each other. It wasn’t always true, but it felt like many people weren’t actually trying to understand what the other people was saying.
I don’t thrive in those environments, I much prefer the deliberate conversations that happen in smaller communities.
So yes, long live Lemmy!
it’s the perspective of a NORP
Huh, do ADHD people count as NORPs? Or is that more of a mindset thing?
My naivete aside, it’s true that the way I phrased my statement ignores people with ADHD who can experience hyper focus on an activity they’re interested in, or people experiencing mania. I’ve certainly experienced the former, but like you said, it’s not a solution but more of a trade-off with its own set of problems.
I guess I should have phrased it more like “even if you have limitless willpower, it doesn’t break physics”: even if you aren’t neurotypical and can sustain willpower for unusual amounts of time, no matter how much motivation you have there is a limited learning capacity you have and a finite amount of time in a day, and you have to pick what you spend them on.
It’s a bit tricky to convey that nuance succinctly, so thanks for pointing that out stranger. :)
I’ve read that humans can only sustain maximum focus about an hour. I used to think “I can focus for longer than that!”, but I think a more correct interpretation is that “after more than an hour, you start to see diminishing returns on your effort.”
Upon more careful reflection, that sounds about right. I do engineering work that involves deep focus and complex mental manipulation, and I can say that you really can’t do that for more than 1-2 hours at a time without a break. Try to force it longer than that, and you won’t be able to go back for a second round of that in the same day.
The reason why students seem to be able to do it is because of the staggered classes and the variation in complexity for their course load and, you guessed it, taking short breaks in their sessions. Common advice for engineering students is to pair their engineering courses with lower-stress liberal arts courses or courses that use different parts of the brain in a given semester so they don’t burn out, and to rest between classes and study sessions.
And lastly, as an ADHD adult, I’ll offer this insight on the nature of motivation: everyone’s threshold for how much motivation they need to perform a task with sustained focus is different. Sometimes, you just don’t have it in you, because you’ve used the energy on other things. Willpower is not some magical force that you can limitlessly tap into to achieve the impossible; it is very much a finite resource. So if you’re struggling to bring yourself to do more towards a specific goal, consider where you can shave off some energy elsewhere. Or, perhaps after thinking about it, you realize you are already putting in exactly the amount of energy you are willing to. In that case, there’s no need to feel guilty, because you’re already doing what you can and want to.
When I truly internalized that I don’t have to prove my worth to anyone, even if I don’t always know what I’m doing.
Looking back, that sense of self-worth and confidence is what I probably saw in all of the adults around me that made them seem so incredible as a child.
So when I felt that, I thought “huh, so this is what being an adult feels like.”
Boxer briefs. The longer, form-fittint leg sleeves seem to prevent inner thigh irritation the best for me.
In the past I would have said boxer shorts because they tend to not catch on leg hair as much since they’re loose, but the loose fabric seems to cause more irritation from friction, weirdly.
Full disclosure:
One thing I have observed about violence that seems random is that they are often performed by people who have been proverbially “beaten down” by life. When this is the cause, they may feel the need to lash out, but their “beating” was so severe that they become apathetic. They just need some outlet for their pain, rather than a specific individual or group.
Some people will take it out on themselves and it becomes self-harm or suicide. Others will take it out on those who are vulnerable in their immediate vicinity.
Basically, when a person is in a lot of pain, it becomes harder to think about others, because they are already struggling with their own issues. At least from where I stand, random acts of violence is what happens when that idea is taken to an extreme.
As for articles and videos: I’m not sure if you will be able to view the video on this page easily, but there is a transcription on the page: it was shared by a man who claimed he almost became a school shooter. He described what he was going through and feeling leading up to the moment where he almost did it. I think it provides a window into how suffering makes a person volatile:
https://www.ted.com/talks/aaron_stark_i_was_almost_a_school_shooter?subtitle=en
In a similar vein, depression tends to cause a person to focus heavily on their own thoughts and emotions and less on their social connections, not because the person is selfish, but as a means of self-preservation, as described in these articles:
https://neurolaunch.com/is-depression-selfish/
This is just one possible explanation, but it’s the one I am most familiar with personally. I hope this helps.
Fun fact: I recently learned life insurance can be used as a mechanism for really wealthy people to dodge taxes. Basically under the right circumstances you can pull money from life insurance policies with little to no penalty (and no, I’m not talking about when you die). High Deductible Health Plans and their corresponding Health Savings Accounts also work the same way, because they accumulate interest and have no tax penalty when used under the right circumstances.
See here: https://smartasset.com/insurance/how-to-use-life-insurance-to-build-wealth
In essence, insurance is a scam to rob those who don’t have much means, while simultaneously acting as a money laundering vehicle for those who do.
You know, I had never noticed this correlation until you brought it up, but it’s kind of sad how accurate it is…
Saxophone. But not always because it’s smooth. Because sometimes it ROCKS…
https://youtu.be/7QFNAtnUDJ8
…Or because it’s crazier than anything you’ve ever heard!
https://youtu.be/BARAHLk-8dk