This needs to be in front of every movie.

“If I see you videotaping this movie, Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes”

Jiggle jam, puddin cups.

Theres no way Garcia wasn’t rushed through makeup and wardrobe hours before and only beaten with car antennas for a couple days prior so he could still get up to do the photo op.

I was the person who wrote all the posts, now looking for freelance work.

So instead of lasers for self driving, we got cameras because they’re like eyes and they can do the same thing. Now odometers, they spin and the number gets bigger. That’s like a slot machine. They need lots of numbers, so we’ll make them like penny slots and just go one little bit at a time, and it’ll make you feel like a winner when the parts fall off!

Wafflestomping all the way down

Even if it’s a Turkey-specific restriction for users based in the country, it nonetheless shows that Bluesky is willing to comply with government requests.

Nothing like taking out the ‘93 Mercury Sable for a drive.

The St. Anger snare is fine.

Burnt as cinders. Get a V60, kettle, and a grinder — never look back.

People can’t be bothered to read or do shit because their comprehension is trash. This happens constantly. I taught college courses for years and it was pulling fucking teeth to get people to answer essay prompts. For example:

In One Hundred Years of Solitude we see generational cycles of behavior blah blah blah, which characters fit this pattern, which characters do not, and why?

95% of answers: only characters that fit the pattern. They read the first few words and ignored everything else, and then have the audacity to complain that I said they only answered half the question.

Just whacking it into his own mouth while the looney tunes factory music plays

I’ve always wanted to go visit our neighbors to the north, but honestly, I’m now scared of just trying to return. Much love to you all in Canada.

You mean like the collections of artists/authors?

There’s no way this could go wrong twice, so what the heck, put it all on the green 00.

I’d clock it at a fraction of 1%. I had one relative I’d hear from once every few months who always forgot to unblock their landline number before dialing, and then there’s the rare healthcare number that you’re not meant to be able to call back (but you’re told to expect the call). But effectively all of them are spam. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message and callback number.

Chewy is pretty awesome for stuff like that. Condolences for your loss.

Second breakfast burritos. A good one is definitely filling, tasty, and has all types of stuff (veggies, protein, carbs, dairy) in it.

France does NOT fuck around when it comes to staunchly holding their own employment laws under internationally owned companies. If you want to fire someone, for example, you have to follow the French criteria, and it’s a complex and drawn out process that makes American MBAs melt like they’ve opened the Ark of the Covenant.

If you put them all together they eventually spell a slur.