It’s a show, not a movie, but I have been watching Fleabag at least 20 times on repeat within half a year (November to April). I do a lot of housework and it often plays in the background while I cook or clean. I know every line. I know every shot and smile and can basically watch it in my head.

When I was 11, I was watching the VHS tape with Pirates of the Caribbean daily for about 1.5 months.

Movies and series are just one of my favorite things in the world. I do want to make time for that. Are there more important and wholesome things to do? Absolutely. But I also feel like I should be allowed to do something not meaningful or important every now and then. I’ve been thinking about it a lot throughout my life, whether, on my deathbed, I will regret having watched so much stuff, thinking I should have spent that time differently. I don’t think I will. Because I love stories. I think it is one (possible) meaning of life, to listen to as many stories as you can. I listen to people’s stories, to things that are actually happening, and TV and movies are another medium that also tells stories. I understand that a lot of people prefer books, maybe that’s objectively the better, healthier choice, but I am fine with choosing the former. I once fancied a career in that field, but after a year I realized that it killed any joy I got out of it, and fucked up my health (99.9% of people are smokers). But at the end of the day, thinking of something from scratch and conveying this idea of events to someone else is fantastic. It is amazing. I feel like I have lived a thousand lives, and I want to live another thousand.

And I reevaluate that question and my answer to it often, on a regular basis. So far, I am very d’accord with it.

Also, just to make it clear, of course I do other stuff. I go outside with my kid every day, we play, we are being creative, I meet a lot of people and always have. I just don’t see less value in watching a movie than in woodwork, gardening, sewing. Also, to be fair, a lot of times when I watch something, it’s because I can’t do anything else, “more productive”, in that moment. I’m not gonna go turn on the sewing machine at midnight. The realistic choice is between watching tiktoks, shorts, etc, or hanging at lemmy for an hour, or watch a movie. I think watching a movie (or half) is time better spent than on social media clicking through short videos.

Me being like “what does it mean to boot from a USB 👁️👄👁️”

Fr though, the account thing is not too far off. When I made my first account (when the Reddit thing happened, it was on lemm.ee) I absolutely didn’t understand jack shit and what I was doing. I was very ready to throw in the towel. I didn’t understand how to add communities, how to search for communities, anything. I still have problems grasping the whole server thing. (Or what a server is.)

So a lot of times I feel excluded here, or at least like an unallowed invader, or a feral maniac just running around, throwing stuff at a wall and looking for what sticks. But that’s ok. I’m happy I’m still here and one day I might even know what a command line is.