Hi Lemmings!
I have a 3.5 yo Pit Bull Terrier/Mini Pinscher mixed breed that is always anxious and scared of her own shadow.
For the past year she has lived with me in my new home, which unfortunately backs up to a landscaping supply company that operates machinery that makes a lot of noise during the day, and also is on a fairly busy road that sees a lot of traffic (and people with horrible muffler systems that would wake the dead).
When she first came to my new house she would have accidents, which is understandable. She eventually got comfortable enough with going out back to use the bathroom, and would let me know that she needed to go. In fact, if I do t respond within a minute of her sitting at the back door, she will bark so I notice her. I love it. I couldn’t be prouder.
But, during the day especially, when she goes outside she gets scared by the landscaping supplier noises, cars backfiring/diesel trucks, or neighboring dogs barking, and will immediately turn back to come inside. I have to then go out with her and command her to “go potty”. And even then, she will often try to fake like she peed, or she will flee mid poop and run back to the door. During the evenings, she’s not as scared, and is even adventurous with exploring the back yard.
She is even scared of most of the house itself: something about the kitchen terrifies her, which sucks because to get from the living room to the rest of the house she has to go through the kitchen. And the only places she really feels comfortable are in the bedrooms.
Lately she seems to have regressed with the household accidents; mostly if I leave her unattended for any length of time; e.g. grocery shopping, dropping off or picking up my kids from somewhere, etc. if I crate her when I leave, she’s fine. However, she is not comfortable in her crate — she slinks all the way to the back of the crate, and curls up into the tightest ball she can and trembles the entire time.
She is difficult to train. It originally took 2 years to get her house broken, and in that time she’s only learned sit and lie down. I have hired a dog trainer, and have tried PetSmart training for the social aspect. Both instances were lackluster. She is not food motivated like other dogs. Or, at least maybe I just haven’t found the right food to motivate her with.
I am starting to feel overwhelmed by her accidents and inability to focus through her fear; I’ve even lost my temper a few times and yelled at her for it. I understand that does not help her situation, and I do not want to give up on her (or me). At least not if there are still things I can try to help build her confidence.
With all of that said, my question is for any advice that I can use to help build her confidence, break through her ~~fight-or-~~flight reactions, and get her feeling safe in her own home.
Thanks! What kind of trust exercises would you recommend that have worked for you?
Well, for me it was gradual, and luckily I did it while they were still young (<2 years old), which made it much easier.
It ranged from presenting them certain challenges like, say, having them follow me over a small-but-intimidating hole they couldn’t easily jump over, or were afraid to. I’d first let them clearly communicate what they wanted (to reach me), then trying to encourage them to jump on their own (knowing they wouldn’t, because they were afraid). Then I’d help them once or twice, then back to start. They’d expect me to help them again, but I’d just get closer and encourage them again, providing less and less help until no help was needed. Usually at that part they tended to whine more, but I’d only catch them if I saw they weren’t gonna make. And with each step, with each improvement, make a big deal out of it - a big achievement, because it encourages them to aim higher to hear your praise.
In the case of one of them, which I got when he was a puppy retriever, he couldn’t even return inside the house because of a step by the door, as his tiny legs made it difficult. He whined, and whined, I helped at the beginning, and when I saw he could do it on his own I let him be until he made it on his own. He whined so much, so loud, and 5 minutes later I see him enter the living room all proud, looking for me. So I praised him a lot, then put him outside again to cement it - again, he whined a bit, but this time he made it faster to us. Repeat again, and this time he didn’t even whine, he just did it on his own and never got stuck there again.
Eventually I even got them to trust me to jump into my shoulders from a balcony about 2 meters high, to the point they love it and ask for it - this of course means extra wariness, since if I’m not entirely focused on them, and fail them when they trust me, they lose that trust much faster than they earn it - even if they don’t get hurt. My closest dog now even goes on his own to the rooftop whenever one of his toys ends up there, and retrieves it on his own, and jumps around like it’s not anybody’s business. You don’t need to go that far, but that’s to say the sentiment is what counts.
Basically any exercise where your dog needs you to help her overcome any sort of mental barrier, since even though you trust she can do it, she does not trust herself. And showing her that you trust her, and that she can indeed make it, and that even if she doesn’t you’ll be there for her, which will gradually make her trust you even more.