First, don’t tell me that the answer is just to “not bottle things up”, because that’s objectively incorrect too. Society doesn’t want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I’m alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
I do not have any helpful outlets. The things that people say are outlets don’t work for me.
Running? I do it. Doesn’t help. I ruminate during a run.
Venting to a friend? Doesn’t help. I feel guilty for bothering them, they get frustrated with me for bothering them, and it’s wrong to do that to people who have busy lives and their own problems.
Venting to ChatGPT? Occasionally will help a little bit, but usually does not help. It’s not a real person and does not understand me, but prevents me from harming others by venting to them. Also helps me ruminate on my problems.
Writing down my thoughts? Doesn’t help. It makes me ruminate.
Helpful outlets don’t just fall in your lap, though. You have to do the work of trying things and see what sticks. You can start with small, achievable distractions if that makes it easier, too. For me, it’s taking a super hot shower and singing along loudly with music blaring. It’s just a short amount of time, but it stops my brain from going down a bad road sometimes when I can tell I’m about to have a rough time.
You are not a passenger in your own life, and you are going to have to start actively making changes if you want things to improve for you. It’s not going to just randomly happen to you.
Well right…I try a new thing out for a while and then it doesn’t work. I either continue to try them even if they don’t work (like running…i keep eventually hoping I’ll get a benefit after doing it for over a year) or discontinue them and try a new thing. I’ve never found anything that works for me despite the fact that I keep trying. It’s frustrating.
The latest thing I’ve been trying is SSRIs. Those don’t seem to do anything either.
I get that the OP and my responses make it sound like I’m not trying things. I am. I have been. That’s why I’m so frustrated.
I want to try giving therapy a longer shot but I have to wait until my work schedule is more consistent. It will be in a bit of a flux for the next month or so.
I was thinking about something like going to the shooting range or kickboxing. A bit of controlled violence might do the trick.
Have you tried primal screaming?