This was bound to happen, and it’s ridiculous

  • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Thank you for speaking up. I’m going to share a bit of my experience (unrelated to you, OP.)

    I suspect (from my experience dating men) that the desensitivity issue is more common than most people will admit. Few men want to admit that their dick doesn’t work properly, and a subset of those men will attempt to frame this problem as a benefit instead (“I can keep going for so long without cumming, it’s my super power!”) I don’t expect most men will talk with each other like this, but it’s one of the justifications such men tell their partners.

    From the partner’s perspective, I hate to have to say this, but… no, it’s not a power. It’s a weakness. A desensitized dick turns sex into a frustrating act that only ends when I get physically sore. If he doesn’t have that “natural stopping point” that usually signals an end to penetration, and the act still feels good to him - he doesn’t want to stop, so why would he? But it’s a very different experience from the “receiving” partner’s perspective. Most people who “receive” in sex don’t want to keep going until they end up in pain. We don’t want to always be the buzz-kill whose role is to decide, “Okay, sex time is over!” I want to have fun, too; not be the playground monitor that has to announce when recess is finished. Going on and on is a porn fantasy, and just like many porn fantasies, it’s not that fun in real life.

    The issue of porn-induced desensitivity is absolutely real. However, taking away people’s privacy online is not the solution. These laws are absolutely absurd and a terrifying glimpse of the future the fascists in power are aiming toward. (And for anyone overly-concerned about my sex life that feels the need to chime in with advice - I learned from the lessons of my past, and I share those lessons in hopes that others can learn from it too.)