I (22M, heterosexual) am interested in a sensual and affectionate form of intimacy involving purely oral stimulation. My desire is entirely centered on kissing and being kissed as a way to exchange love and pleasure (with oral sex being an extension of kissing). It is so hot to me that it is genuinely all I want, and penetrative forms of sex do not interest me. (Due to medical issues, they also might not work super well at this point.)

I have never had a sexual partner because I was raised with a traditional model of intimacy in which an active male partner penetrates a passive female partner. Since my desires did not fit this framework, I never tried to even date anyone, believing that the type of intimacy I wanted - one in which both partners took turns giving and receiving oral pleasure - was impossible. At least, not without having to participate in an activity that didn’t arouse me.

I am not nearly as ignorant as I was back then, but I would like to know if there is a general dating strategy to efficiently narrow things down to women who aren’t interested in or don’t require penetrative sex.

Does anyone know of someone in a similar situation who found a compatible partner regardless? If so, how did they do it?

  • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    16 hours ago

    As far as penetrative sex - I strongly suggest not knocking it til you’ve tried it. Maybe you’ll try it and find you really like it. Maybe you’ll find you actually enjoy going hard and fast. Who knows? I didn’t know I would like choking girls until my first girlfriend asked me to do it.

    Anyway, to answer your actual question - you can’t really put these sexual preferences on a dating profile or wear them on a t shirt. So the solution to your problem is to just go on lots of dates with lots of different people until you find someone who is sexually compatible with you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just a normal guy who likes getting and giving head more than he likes fucking. No prob. Even if you and a partner end up not being compatible, it’s hard for someone to be bitter with you when you just gave them good head.