Looking for:
- no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
- no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
- people who understand climate change is real
- leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great
I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.
Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure
Eta: I’m looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you’d recommend, don’t comment.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Eta 2:
This user previously said very misogynistic things to me. They are now spam posting in here, bringing up rape and sexual harassment in a conversation where it was never mentioned by me, (so why is their mind jumping to THOSE words and why are they saying them?), tagged by another user who has also taken screenshots and posted images of me in other instances, resulting in harassment of me. This is what I mean when I say it’s a boys’ club and you all don’t cultivate a culture worth being around.
One thing I didn’t want to be around was men covertly and overtly threatening rape. Why can’t that be respected?
Eta 3:
Here, since people are claiming Lemmy is a bastion of women’s rights and feminism, a list of the shit I have read with my own eyeballs:
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11677815
https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11908818
https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11897056
https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13348174
https://lemmy.world/post/21754431/13338541
https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13358254
https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13357806
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13284141
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13281744
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13273356
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13305826
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13341403
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13343945
https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13344248
https://lemmy.world/post/21719864/13314587
https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13344854
https://lemmy.world/post/19955762/12467131
https://lemmy.world/post/21587225/13261160
https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11914214
https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11953701
https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11948206
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11692679
https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11697513
https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11952571
https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11955324
https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11956772
https://lemmy.world/post/21706199/13308410
https://lemmy.world/post/15236868/9990734
https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12046901
https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12059630
https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12045644
https://lemmy.world/post/18173994/11513002
https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11752735
https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11769838
https://lemmy.world/post/18633431/11766518
https://lemmy.world/post/18641490/11789597
Hey, how’s dbzer0 sexist???
Shocked at your experience on Lemmy honestly. Particularly perma banned for being a woman?
Solarpunk is good.
Was never banned from here FYI.
Yeah no I checked, not from db0 and not from any comm on this instance either.
I’m just not further engaging here bc well…
Honestly I’d suggest that to you too. Just remove the tagline and don’t engage in any further communication.
Somehow despite all the things said, I still dont think that she’s a troll or even ill meaning. Actually believe she’s got good intentions lol.
OK so decided to check the modlog. You’ve been banned from 5 different comms on 4 different instances by 5 different mods.
On comms like casual UK and tumblr.
You have two removed posts, one posting us news where it isnt allowed. One being ‘not news’, which is arguable.
And so many removed comments that I can’t even go through it all. Having read a couple they seem fair. I’m sure theres some unfair ones amongst them.
But your behaviour is very reddit like. Please understand that this place is run by the money and effort of the individuals who you are often attacking, the admins. People here also prefer to be chill and not combative unless there’s extreme right wingers. Mild petty internet disagreements are not worth being uncivil about.
You are of course more than welcome here as your heart is clearly in the right place but please understand that people here just want a chill space to be in.
Edit: and this is one of 5 accounts!
I never said those were the only bans - I simply have a problem with the bans I originally brought up for being a feminist and not breaking rules per the mod who banned me, which is why I want to leave. As in I spoke with the mod and broke down my comment and they were unable to say what rule I’d broken. This wasn’t an invitation to discuss my bans, this was information provided so people can recommend a better fit for me personally.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
“Lol you aren’t evil, you are just weak minded and unable to perform empathy at an adult level. Asking you to do so created a tantrum. Yes, you are a gender narcissist as I’ve explained. You are sexist, quite transparently. I won’t go away, I have a right to exist here. You can leave if you want, since you have nothing substantial to add. I’d also bite your dick off to watch you writhe so you might want to keep the sweety comment to yourself. I’m not that sweet, professionally so.”
I’m not even looking for bad ones, this is just right upfront. The whole conversation is a mess, not just you.
But both sets of comments were removed not just yours.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Won’t someone please think of the poor misogynists? Waa. All they are doing is destroying society and killing and enslaving women
Go ahead, post what he wrote to me.
“He does. One is an executive of neuralink. Elon and other billionaires literally want to kill everyone and start their own super human race. They are starting a civil war.”
I despise elon but wouldn’t complain if this was removed for being misinformation.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
It’s literally true (there’s already a civil war starting to kick off the in US literally right now with the military invading Chicago and Portland and Trump contemplating the insurrection act), and I can give news sources for it. Look up Dark Enlightenment.
https://cascadeinstitute.org/dark-enlightenment/
https://time.com/7269166/dark-enlightenment-history-essay/
https://www.ft.com/content/02217acf-ac64-49c2-acd5-ef4f107f014c
opensecrets.org/news/2024/10/pro-trump-dark-money-network-tied-to-elon-musk-behind-fake-pro-harris-campaign-scheme/
Just because you all are not politically informed on even BASIC BASIC stuff, doesn’t mean I am wrong.
Elon sieg heil’d on stage. They genuinely want to solve the climate crisis by killing people, enslaving people, and having their own families that they view as a super race (NOT MY VIEWS, obviously there is no such thing) be protected and in power. They’re building bunkers. They’re collapsing democracies. They are pushing disease like measles and Chaga’s and removing healthcare and food safety. It’s genuinely what is happening. All the same actions a hostile nation would do during war, is what the wealthy have done to the world’s people in the last year.
Damn, she got exposed lmao. You’re doing the lord’s work be sharing this with the community, thank you.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
Wasn’t my goal honestly. 🤷♂️
Exposed for things I openly talked about in my first comment? Doing the lord’s work for not putting the comments I was responding to? Enlightened centrism supporting the status quo of the patriarchy once again, and women better shut up and get in line, huh?
lmfao please never change
Go away. When women don’t want to be around you, you should respect that. No means no.
non-consensual replies are sexual harassment!
Why would you say that? Would you have said that to a man?
a man has never accused me of raping them for replying to them, like you have in the past, but if they did then yes.
Thanks, @Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com , that was so helpful you tagged him here for him to say blatantly misogynistic stuff like this (and no, he would never say this to anyone but women). It was TOTALLY NECESSARY to answer my question of “which instance would you recommend to GET AWAY FROM THESE USERS?”
He’s now bringing up sexual harassment and rape and nonconsent as “funny” gotchyas. Thanks! I explicitly said in the OP the rape threats (even closeted ones where someone is “joking”) are the reason I want to leave. So glad he could provide that in this thread to prove my point. Why would he bring up sexual harassment and rape as jokes when I tell him I don’t want to talk to him? Why is a conversation around consent and emotional boundaries being taken to sexual harassment and rape territory right away? Especially against someone who has stated they have trauma around this?
But yeah, obviously I’m the issue.
they didn’t tag me, I specifically followed them to get notifications anytime they post.
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Per the mod that banned me, that is not why I was banned for some of those.
The “US news” was about Elon Musk, a man from South Africa, interfering in global elections worldwide. They claimed it was US only but it wasn’t.
And I am proud to give personal attacks to misogynists, fascists, racists, child predators, and all the other dirtbags on here. That I am trying to avoid future conflict by changing instances is seemingly lost on you - yeah, when people defend themselves and stand up to abusers and the status quo, that creates waves and conflict. That is how we got human rights. I don’t respect attitudes like yours.
I do not have 5 accounts. I have this account.
WE THE COMMUNITY make the rules for general behavior, and I will NOT be compliant to the HORRIBLE SHIT I see on Lemmy constantly.
If db0 is weirdly sexist, I’ll gladly leave this place. I’m 100% a feminist. But I’m not seeing any evidence of this.
OP thinks any reaction to them flipping their shit instantly and constantly is aimed at their gender, instead of them flipping their shit instantly and constantly.
Yeah she seems a little off. I think she posts a little oddly but I don’t think she’s bad because she’s a woman. I think she’s a bit stressed out lately, and understandably so.
Self defense isn’t being “off.”
Being angry isn’t being “off.”
These are reasonable reactions.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
You are promoting the idea of hysteria. This is offensive, and this belief results and resulted in women being enslaved with no trial in psychiatric (torture) facilities - something RFK Jr is literally actively pushing for. And you’re helping him with your rhetoric and responses, validating the idea that angry women are hysterical and “off” when pushing back against abuses by men, and that men are the reasonable ones by default and entitled to treating women bad. Is it reasonable to comment on a woman’s thread with personal attacks and denials of her experiences when she is asking for a simple instance recommendation? That seems like instigating to me. But no, no, these guys are totally fine and I’m off.
Would you like me to find all the comments I was responding to? The ones that promote pedophilia, rape, and subjugation of women? How exactly is the normal way to respond to that? Tell me, oh men, how you want to police my emotions. If only I could be a perfect victim like you.
Maybe just post the responses you write to the rape threats you get. Since obviously misogyny on here isn’t real, so the rape threats are something everyone is getting, right? Not just me. So post yours and show me how I should be responding to these attacks which definitely are all in my head as being misogyny. Go ahead.
Do you think Francine Hughes was wrong for setting her abusive husband on fire? The courts found her to be reacting noncriminally to her abuse in a landmark case for women’s rights in the 80s. Do you even know about that case? Or do you think women should ALL be quiet and just put up with abuse from men?
I used to think you might be cool because Eugene is cool. Not anymore. You’ve done quiet a bit of patriarchal enforcing here - this thread was about recommending an instance for me to move to, and you’re spending your time here trying to police with others whether I’ve personally experienced misogyny on Lemmy - that was never the point of the thread in the first place, yet you all feel SUPER COMFORTABLE dismissing my own words, experiences, and what I want… With no evidence except removed comments that show I’m upset at what is being said to me - not even the comment I am responding to. Why is that? It’s like you’re pushing a patriarchal narrative for the boys club. Shame on you. May the way you treat women come back on you tenfold.
https://shawngude.substack.com/p/eugene-debs-supported-womens-suffrage
You should change your username. You don’t have the spine or values to share his name.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).
And this is a very clear example.
Someone disagrees with anything you do or like and you automatically assume they must not know anything and require education on some super basic subjects. So you decide the correct way to convey your viewpoint is with a half page copypasta, stripping out the useful intro and just offering instructions.
You treat everyone like they’re simultaneously some kind of uneducated child and the personification of evil. Perhaps somewhat understandably, people don’t really take well to that.
And now that I see your replies, you also seem to be hyperfocussing on one specific offense to you, pasting to the same reply to numerous, completely different, people and posts. I totally see why you’re getting banned so much, no community wants spammy replies like that.
Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/
• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.
• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.
• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.
• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.
Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine
You do lack education. You do act like an ignorant child. You are causing harm. I do not need to rewrite well established summaries anew for everyone who struggles with the concepts of tone policing and hysteria.
And look in the mirror. Your attitude is worse than mine and you uphold systems of oppression too. Disgusting.
No. Wrong.
This, see below, he says they have a screengrab of my comments.
Please understand completely that misogyny IS gender fascism. I do not give a FUCK about being palatable to ANY fascists. Have you smelled the blood of a woman giving birth? Do you understand what that kind of slavery is like? Do you understand what has been at stake for your mother and every woman for months? Or are you blind and numb to it because it doesn’t involve you?
This sexist rhetoric online and elsewhere has been an issue since Gamergate, it’s pusged by massive 5tth gen warfare networks with MINIMAL pushback, and women were told to pipe down and it’s the boys club - and now abortion rights have been taken away and they are seriously trying to take away the right to vote, the right to divorce, the right to beat and rape your wife (spousal rape was still legal in the 90s). Me insulting people like this is like me insulting blatant genocidal Nazis - which I’ve also done and received raoe and death threats for… because they are all fascists.
Some of us have to stand for something and say something. The reason they squirm and complain is because it works.
Recommended documentaries (trigger warning):
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
Yes, being a feminist was not okay in the early days here. Afaik I was the only person that was openly a woman or feminist for several months when I first joined.
I joined in July 2023 (on my first account on .world) and had nearly the opposite experience. I expect a certain amount of misogny in male dominated online spaces and it’s definitely not sunshine and roses here, as per the occasional trolls who hop into the women’s only community, but my first thoughts were of how little toxicity I saw, compared to other platforms.
That said, I curate my feed, mainly stick to communities I subscribe to, and (usually) disengage when the communication isn’t effective.
Okay, you’ll notice we are different people with different experiences. Do you have an instance you can recommend? Otherwise, this isn’t meant to be a discussion on experiences.
I did comment on the main post. And now I’m choosing to disengage.
Thanks, bye!
https://lemmy.world/post/36969200/19817472
If you look at the second link, a user told me they proudly laugh at me and have pics of my comments as their banner - because I am angry that Project 2025 is killing women, enslaving women, and taking away our rights, and men seemingly do not give a fuck at all. In fact they complain about lack of sex and intimacy and gaslight women telling us to calm down, or to fuck rightwing men to calm them down and get them on our sides (you have holes, use yours). I will never join that instance if that is considered okay behavior.
This is the relevant link I think: https://lemmy.world/post/32343339/18042041
I totally get that Lemmy and the internet in general (and society in general) isn’t as welcoming for women as it is for men, so I can totally empathize with where you are coming from here.
First, if you want me to remove the site tagline with your quote, I’ll be happy to do so. Just let me know. Adding it really had nothing whatsoever to do with misogyny though - I added it because I [mostly] agree with the sentiment. I definitely enjoyed your hyperbolic turn of phrase. I also thought it would be a good fit with our other taglines. Did I also find it amusing? Yes, gotta admit, but a lot of our taglines get chosen because they are also funny in some way. In this case what was funny (to me) was the hyperbole, not the core message, and not the fact you are a woman. You can choose to believe that or not, of course, but I genuinely wasn’t coming from that place.
Having read through the original thread, I don’t think things went down quite as you have characterized it either. It looks like you accidentally replied to one of our users (@_cryptagion@anarchist.nexus) comments instead of replying to the OP. So that’s how you got into the conversation with him in the first place. Then, you got angry with him when he mentioned we had used one of your comments as a tagline, made a bunch of assumptions about the reason why, and then started misgendering him for some reason? The removed comment was “eat shit” btw.
Yes, remove it.
I already posted that link to thr full thread itt multiple times
I did not accidentally respond, I was piggybacking off his comment to bring up my bad experiences with a mod that others were talking about - I was agreeing with him that that mod is an issue. Therefore, the only thing in my comment that would have invoked a hostile response is the content of it that he DOESN’T agree with:
Out of nowhere HE chose to respond with telling me I am “infamous” due to a meme. Learn to read, it was open hostility. Just like he chose to do here in this thread because you tagged him and summoned him, bringing someone who harasses me here (thanks!). Stop giving men the generous interpretation and women the short stick automatically - that is misogyny. This is also why you are unqualified to discuss feminist topics as if you can determine what is and isn’t misogyny.
Last, no. It’s harassment or he wouldn’t say “infamous” about a post criticizing men and their inaction during fascist takeover (stop gaslighting). If he is going to treat women like shit and push the patriarchy, then it can be reflected back at him. You know immediately what wounds fascists by what they police and hate, and it’s fine to use that speech against them - so you can get them to agree that the patriarchy is bad and NO ONE should be enforcing gender roles on others. That’s the point.
I get that this is your attempt to save face though. It doesn’t work to gaslight women who know your stupid lies and tricks. I noticed the lack of apology for the impact of what you did regardless of intent.
https://harpers.org/archive/1941/08/who-goes-nazi/