For what it’s worth: “on my own by my self” is overrated. It’s good to seek advice, it’s good to look for validation, interactions matter. That’s just being human. No one’s an island. For me taking baby steps in terms of gender expression really paid off when I started playing it out outside. Nothing bad happens and people are generally in sunnier dispositions towards me. Despite the stress of not conforming I paradoxically feel way more confident because I’m not bottling it up anymore. What you see is what you get. As a matter of fact I’ve enjoyed people being somewhat thrown off. The thrill of little rebellions.

Also self-diagnosis is the only real diagnosis for gender identity. And fluidity’s a thing too. It’s a journey. You can’t be wrong.

At this point I’m not sure if I’m encouraging you or myself lol. Anyways you’re OK, I’m OK, we’re OK. We might even be cool