Okay then say the n word. By your rationale if your intent is not to disparage a racial minority and instead to utilize a personal utility that continues to define it as a disparagement but wink wink doesn’t count as a slur then it’s fine, right?

The point is you can describe your “intent” all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that these words are regularly used as pejorative slurs to disparage an entire class. Prescriptive rebranding takes generations to shift and doesn’t even work all the time (eg mongoloid) unless you do mental gymnastics to ignore the harm you’re doing, like you are