Thank you for the downvotes, because they motivated me to crank out the text so I can post it.

How do you like this? Because it’s literally going in the mail tomorrow to both my senator and congressman, thanks to you:

Dear Congressman-elect [new guy],

John Adams once said that the American Revolution did not take place during the Revolutionary War, but in the years that preceded it, in the minds and hearts of the people. Something similar is happening again, and has now brought you into the halls of power to speak for us. The people have spoken. There must be change.

Which is why I write to you now by quoting the Founders. They were well aware of the dangers of a demagogue, and their fears have been largely realized over the last ten years as we have watched our democracy teeter on the brink of collapse, drawn away from the necessary individual engagement in the business of this country via fear and propaganda.

One of the causes of that fear is the reality that every day, lack of reasonable gun control results in bodies shattered, blood shed, and lives destroyed in this country. Children have to go to school in fear, and their parents send them in fear. Whether it’s a shopping mall in Texas or an exclusive fête at the Washington Hilton in DC, no one is free of the fear of the stochastic terrorism that unregulated gun ownership and distribution is wreaking in our land.

That is why I approach you not with statistics, nor policy points, but with the bare fact that fear makes a populace easier to control: I believe this is the sole reason why for the last forty-plus years, as we now know the current subversion of democracy has been in the planning, Republicans have across the board steadfastly blocked even the slightest move toward reining in the out-of-control gun violence in our land.

I won’t tell you what I think is best, because at this point any legislation is better than nothing: you know what to do. There is a great deal of other work to do, but on gun control you already have the research, countless rejected bills that have already been written to draw from, countless experts on the subject who will tell you whatever you need to know, and for the first time in fifty years, a neutered NRA and full cooperation from the country itself. You already have everything you need.

So I ask you, as a citizen and a father yourself: add gun control to your agenda. A land of fear is no longer free.

Thank you for listening. I wish you the very best in your new position, and if I can be of any assistance, please feel free to call upon me.

Sincerely,

[Chunk McHorkle]

Congratulations on the own-goal, haters.