I’m selling my extra pea gravel. I’ll try and get an exception for export to ruzzia if necessary. Sure gravel can be used as bullets. But I find that level of indefence acceptable.

Each 1/4" gravel piece will cost just one ruble. And the uses are endless! For example, for several billion rubles you can defend one building! Did I mention that each gravel piece is personally signed by a very hot American woman who will be completely naked while signing it and she will gently touch the tip of her blossoms on every piece before kissing it and telling it a story. Usually she will arrange several thousand pieces around her to tell the story. Usually it’s a reading of an accounting book though. But she will be totally naked.

We, at my backyard pile of gravel company hope that before we run out, there will be at least one ruzzian buried several feet under each one of our beautiful gray colored pieces.

The true value of this very special gravel comes in the field! As each soldier is dropped by those pesky Ukrainians, the location can be specially marked by placing a pieces over the perished. Incredibly, you can then place one in a special counting bag. So if you count 5 pieces later in that bag, that means you had 5 perished guys. And these marker counters last for years and years! No maintenance required! It’s the perfect way of saying thank you. I got at least a cubic yard of this beautiful specimens. 50% off if we switch the model with a very naked mole rat. The rat does all the aforementioned things but in its own native way of communicating with little squeaks.