PrimeErective

John Mulaney’s take

Dear Salt,

I hope this message doesn’t find you. May your beers be warm and your showers frigid.

Cold regards, Prime

Did you mean to post this on shittyasklemmy?

iSame

I saw a full rainbow from a plane once. It was sick

Personal is crazy

Good to know. I always thought it would be more exciting to jump from the top!

Damn, I gotta get one of those negative mortgages

I think what’s going on with the “torment matrix” problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don’t usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.

More succinctly: don’t give them any ideas!

Maybe it got hit by a car and the “other side” is the afterlife

Got any grapes?

I see you’ve played knifey spoony before

“Physint” kinda sounds like their whole strategy right now

I have states, Greg. Can you compute on me?

Splittah!

Brylcreem

Creatine

And a bag of Charlie Sheen

It’s like they’re going out of their way to make me not care about their game

That’s fun. Orexi is Greek for appetite, and appetite is definitely a type of motivation

Kali orexi!

Aha, so this must be the inspo for the post about Disney donating $8m to Hannah Montana Linux

Was that the one with the quick reload battery slot, or was that the v10? Either way those phones were sick