If they want their own space, they are just bigots. That’s what they called me when I excluded them from the general space in the past!

-the people arguing against that comm, probably

@

My area was full of trick or treaters. I saw more homemade costumes. Had some teens in the spirit, lots of adults, too. My kid got to hang out with some friends and trick or treat.

However, I didn’t dress up this year. Too much to do. My daughter’s costume was all stuff we already had. Didn’t decorate because, again, too much to do.

It sounds like you are struggling with how your parents and the rest of your family treat you.

Does it make it better or worse if you were indeed their child?

In my mind, blood means nothing. Blood might be your starting place, but you can choose to keep who you want at any time. I only associate with people that do not mistreat me. I was NC with my dad until he died. He treated me like shit, so one day I refused to give him the time of day.

My ex was also horribly abusive to me. When I decided “no more,” he got no special treatment from me either. I got a restraining order against him, like I would for anyone that would try to physically harm me.

Holding on to the past and keeping score isn’t helpful for you. It’s ok to remember it as the reason why you wouldn’t talk to them (or gray rock if you must still associate), but to wish the score was settled? It is a burden on you. Treat yourself with the dignity you deserve, let it go, and heal.

It is not easy, but you are worth this work.

I realize that you see things that planted this seed in your head. I am telling you, that is not really the root of your issue.

What does matter? The people that you do choose. The things YOU decide are important.

Believe me, I know this. I have been mistreated for my childhood and early adulthood. I always wondered what I did to deserve it. Truth of the matter is, I was never likely to find the answer. I could spend a whole lifetime wondering, and for what? I just chalked it up to other people sucking. The way they treated me isn’t a reflection of me, it speaks more to their own shortcomings. I still get mad at how they treated me sometimes, it’s not perfect. But it has made my life a whole lot happier when I let this go. It’s time for you, too.

Unless you decide to independently verify everything you interact with, there is a certain amount of faith that one needs to keep to live day-to-day. I’m not talking about religion.

If I hold a rock in my hand and think it’s a very old rock, but instead it was just a piece of concrete, does it matter?

To you, am I just a bot or am I a person very far away from you talking to you over the Fediverse? Does it matter?

Is the sun really there, or is it an elaborate hoax? Observing the sun and moving on is enough. Does it matter?

What does matter to you? If you ask me, you should care about a few things. Your own wellbeing. The wellbeing of your community. Your friends. The things that bring you any joy. (And if you have none, then if you work on your own wellbeing, you will be able to find joy after a certain point.)

What if you weren’t biologically your parents’ child, but they weren’t aware of that fact, either? Like you got swapped at the hospital? What would that change for you?

Him: “do you enjoy your job?”

Me: “eh, it’s alright. I don’t hate it.”

Him: “you should enjoy it”

Me: shrug “ok”

No need to really engage. No need to give a lot of details. If he pushes just kind of blow him off.

I sometimes get miffed by people that are more privileged than me telling me I should take it easy like them, when that is not an option for me. I remind myself that they just don’t get it and move on.

There is so much great vegan food!

Oh man, I haven’t had Burgerville in nearly a decade and a half. Bummer.

GFS scratches a little of that itch for me.

Water.

Maybe a chai latte, yogurt, a piece of fruit, or chocolate oat milk.

Mmm… Baskin-Robbins roast

Think of all of the interesting things you can do with regional dialects!

I am an occasional rollator user and my partner is an occasional wheelchair user! (Different needs.)

If you’re driving, kind of sucks. Unless you have a more spendy, lighter wheelchair, the wheelchair is a bit heavy to get in and out of vehicle. (I have hurt my back dealing with my partner’s chair, but I am short.) The rollator is still a bit bulky, but they also fold like a wheelchair but are also smaller and lighter.

I haven’t used public transportation with these types of mobility aids. But I have seen wheelchair users get strapped in separately. You would need to hold your rollator in front of you.

I haven’t had trouble in a restaurant with either one. With a rollator, I put it between me and the (vacant) chair next to me. Never tried a booth because I wasn’t sure where to put the rollator.

If you’re going to a place where you would use a cart (like shopping), you need to handle the rollator somehow. I usually leave it in my car, but I’m not sure how you’d handle this if you took public transportation.

I got you, fam.

No, what is the difference?

Loss of benefits

My partner and I are committed, and want to get married. Can’t for financial reasons.

We both have to go to the hospital every once in a while (bad health). I fear for the time I am barred from seeing her because it is “family only” and I am legally a stranger.

I worked with someone that I later found out used AI to code her stuff. She knew how to code some, but didn’t understand a lot of fundamentals.

Turns out, she would have AI write most of it, tweak it to work with her test cases, and call it good.

Half of my time was spent fixing her code, and when she was fired, our customer complaints went way down.

I knew people from bigger cities that had metal detectors in the mid-aughts. I think they’re wider spread now, but I don’t know much about schools now. Not sure about X-ray machines, never heard about those in a school.

In the sticks, we don’t have any of the machines. The textbooks are usually older than the pupils too and a lot of the stuff is in poor repair, so it may be an issue of funding.

It’s so good, I don’t even remember it’s there.

Laser pointer