She/They

  • 2 Posts
  • 127 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • Fuck. I am so sorry. Being that age and having to take care of everything is just rough. All the death certificates, cancelling services, funeral, house, car, and a million other details while you are still coming to terms that they are just gone. I just sort of went on autopilot and then spent the next 2 years a total complete mess. I am 37 now and it still fucking hurts.

    The one dumb thing that helped me grieve was to just talk to him. I used to call my dad everyday on my 25 minute drive home to work. So, I would pretend he was in the car with me and I would just talk to him.

    All I can say is cherish the few mementos you really care about and don’t drive yourself insane on trying to hold on to every item they owned. Scan pictures. Get help and talk to someone. Get someone removed from the situation to help you clean things out. I paid a random handyman a friend had around a couple hundred dollars to just take care of the parts I couldn’t handle (dead body things…) and donated a bunch of items that flat out had no value to me.







  • Ah, so I really did mean the 10 & 2 for figuring out that positioning of the seat/wheel only. I absolutely agree that 10&2 is a terrible position for driving. 9&3 is much better.

    I read an article a while back on how to position the wheel, as it is especially a problem for women. Airbags can absolutely kill you and I spent some time readjusting everything to make sure the airbag would not deploy in my face or too close to my chest. Adjusting the seatbelt height thing is also really important, but with breasts the damn thing still drifts to where it shouldn’t. Just not as bad.

    Absolutely check with the women in your life about this as a lot of us don’t think about it until we get in an accident and the airbag and seatbelt do more damage than the crash. I am lucky I have only had a minor crash once with no airbag deployed. There are ways to get pedals adjusted by the dealership or swapped with longer ones. I assume mechanics can probably do it too, but I personally do not know how that all works.


  • I don’t have much experience with manual, but I do have severe ADHD. From my experience, it takes about 6 months of driving every day before your brain does most of it automatically. It is really awful at first having to constantly think about every step. Couple random anecdotes that may help. My assumption is you are driving on the right:

    1. Drive barefoot or with minimalist shoes. You can really feel the car and road this way. Flip flops are a no no. All it took was them getting caught in the pedal once to never do it again.
    2. Leave lots of space in front of you in high traffic situations. If you are sitting in the far right/exit/slow lane a lot it will help other drivers get around you. If it is a mulilane highway, it may be safer to stay in the middle lane until it is time to exit.
    3. Look left first. Oncoming traffic hitting your driver side door is bad.
    4. If you ever ever doubt when looking both ways, just look again. People can wait.
    5. People get mad or do stupid shit. It is ok. We stop being rational people once “time” enters the equation. At some point, getting mad at other drivers all the time makes you a worse driver. Learn to just let shit go.
    6. Try to space yourself where you don’t create blindspots for yourself or others.
    7. Position your side mirrors properly. If you can easily see you car door, they are pointing in too far.

    Adjust your seat and steering wheel. You want the steering wheel far away from your face. If you have an adjustable steering wheel, this will be a lot easier. There is a little lever you can pull to unlock it.

    1. Unlatch the wheel and push it completely away from you.
    2. Adjust your seat first so you can reach the pedals and feel in control of run. Test how it feels to push the brake, clutch, etc.
    3. Now, adjust the steering wheel. Put your arms straight out. You want your wrists to touch the “10&2” position of the wheel.
    4. Keep the steering wheel as low as you can, but still see the instruments, and make sure there is plenty of space between you and the very deadly airbag. You do not want it hitting your face and it needs enough space to deploy to properly protect you
    5. Make final adjustments as needed and recheck your mirrors.


  • Thank you for answering the question! I am genuinely both trying to make a point and still be open to try new things. To me, there seems to be a real downward turn on UI/UX in a lot of applications these days, corporate included. When they mentioned the bit about supporting corporate, I have a hard time believing they will get very far with that customer group right now.

    I really wish software, especially FOSS, would stop making the UI the afterthought. I try to keep a holistic view when designing things and everyone has a seat at the table. I wonder if projects are boxing themselves in and making it harder for the UI teams to properly integrate, and vice versa? I will happily take criticism and ideas from pretty much anyone, especially outside my immediate teams.

    I am pretty out of the game on that as I spent quite a few years doing controls engineering instead. I am back in Software now and I feel old and a little lost. I graduated back in 2012 and we didn’t have all of these crazy developer roles and more specialized degrees. They were trying to get a Game Design program started when I graduated, and it was supposedly a mess for a few years.



  • All I read is Marketing Tech Speak that sounds no different than anything else that gets advertised in my face. At work, we use Teams. It is a pain sometimes when it gets a little buggy, but integrates into SharePoint/OneDrive and the noise suppression in meetings is pretty awesome. At home I use discord or GChat because that is where all my friends are. I don’t assume I have privacy on any of these platforms and they all work on my phone and computer.

    How is the user experience? Ultimately, give me privacy, but if the user experience and UI don’t give any improvements over the corporate ones, I will have to try it some other time.






  • 🐍🩶🐢@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.ml2 life pro tips in one meme!
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    2 months ago

    Ok. Let’s do this! If you have a 4 cup pyrex/microwavable measuring cup, it is much easier.

    • Sauce pan with a lid. Nonstick is fine.
    • 2 cups of rice using dry measuring cup
    • 3 cups of water
    • Salt if using unsalted butter
    • 2 tablespoons of butter
    1. Put empty pan on stove and set heat to medium-high. If these are steel pans, stick to medium. Go towards high if nonstick as it takes a bit to heat up.
    2. Put water and butter in microwavable cup and throw it in the microwave until it starts to simmer, maybe 3 minutes? Depends on microwave and dish.
    3. While you are waiting on microwave, put dry rice in pan and gently stir/fold. They will start to turn white, but don’t let them burn. If you need to take the pan off and turn the heat down, do it. We are just preheating the rice and pan up. Add salt if needed.
    4. Get ready. As soon as that water is hot enough to boil or close to, take it out, pour it in the pan. It will be violent.
    5. Do a quick stir, throw the lid on, and turn the heat down to the lowest setting. The water should fully cover the rice.
    6. Walk away. The bottom might toast a little, but that is fine as long as it doesn’t full on burn.

    After 20 minutes or so, you can do a real quick check and if it looks kind of wet, throw the lid back on and wait.

    At this point, you should have perfectly acceptable rice. Take the lid off, stir the rice with a more folding motion to let it steam any additional moisture out.


  • Long tangent, but I got the Edge or whatever stupid expensive version they have for the extra triggers/levers underneath. I have really small/short palms and don’t have the reach to push all the buttons properly. I wouldn’t be able to play Elden Ring at all without them. I roll and use potions with the levers instead. Even then, it is still painful after a while and some of the contortions I have to do at times can be annoying.

    I have the issue of barely having enough “wrap” with my palm and pinky to grip around the hand things that are angled down a little too much. I absolutely despise that the dpad is one of those rocker pieces underneath instead of individual buttons. I will accidentally do a direction I didn’t intend because I rocked the down button too far to the right. It is because the controller still isn’t straight when I hold it. lt is partially rotated in my hand so I can get a little more reach upwards and it makes the dpad usable. Having to compensate the direction of joysticks is super fun. I basically have to death grip the controller with my right pinky and tightly squeezed palm to keep it stable.

    When that accessible controller came out for the Xbox I was super bummed it wasn’t for all platforms yet. Doesn’t help I would need to have 2 kits to be able to have separate sides like joycons. Joycons have been my favorite controller of all time as I can comfortably hold them. I tried making a proof of concept sort of gel/shredded memory foam cover, which did help, but it didn’t solve the severe pain in my palm, especially the area under my pinky that I use to death grip the controller. After seeing the glove Martina made after she cut off her pinky, I want to try and make a glove next to take the pressure off, improve grip, and sort of brace/support the part of my hand that I keep hurting.

    It sucks that accessories keep getting more expensive. I haven’t had any issues my my edge, but you bet I would be utterly infuriated if it didn’t last when it is almost half the price of the console itself. I have some mechanical keyboards and those things can really get up there in price too. Ergonomic mice are not exactly cheap either. I hate having to use a trackball but so far the only comfortable one is that Logitech one and I have to use the extra angled base it comes with. I game with it.