My old boyfriend died in 2015 (from diabetes) and I’ve been single since then. I also don’t know if I’ll like having sex or not. I am sexually attracted to men/am straight but I don’t know. It’s like the idea of someone doing that to me, I’d find it embarrassing because I’m gross.
It sounds like you’ve got deeper issues than just not having a partner.
If it’s a possibility for you, I highly recommend talking through your self image issues with a therapist.