My old boyfriend died in 2015 (from diabetes) and I’ve been single since then. I also don’t know if I’ll like having sex or not. I am sexually attracted to men/am straight but I don’t know. It’s like the idea of someone doing that to me, I’d find it embarrassing because I’m gross.
We’re all gross, and we’re all ugly, and we all deserve love. You are included in that equation.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Sex is not the only part of a relationship, and being sexually attracted does not mean you should ever feel coerced into it.
Sex is embarrassing, gross, and silly. With the right person that’s okay and worth doing, with the wrong person it’s not. Your feelings of embarrassment are common and you’re not broken or anything.
For me relationships are about comfort and belonging more than physical satisfaction, maybe that’s the thing you’re looking for?
They say there’s somebody for everyone, no matter if you’re pretty or ugly, someone will find you beautiful and love you, try not to let your doubts keep that kind of person away if that’s something you’re hoping for.
On the other hand, relationships are just one flavor in the medley of flavors life has to offer, society may say you have no worth without an SO but that’s patently false.