32m just starting to become more comfortable around women. I’ve just been telling myself to start small and ask how one is doing in passing. Just curious to hear from those with more experience and success with women through trial and error
32m just starting to become more comfortable around women. I’ve just been telling myself to start small and ask how one is doing in passing. Just curious to hear from those with more experience and success with women through trial and error
The best thing to do is to not see gender. Treat women the same way that you treat men. I mean that in the most literal sense, not in an “equal rights” sense (though you definitely should make sure that’s true as well).
Do you know the uncanny valley? It’s the idea that things that appear close-but-not-quite human are offputting. Something similar happens in social conversations as well. People are very good at subconsciously detecting subtle signs of incongruity between your tone, body language, and spoken words. For instance, if you are nervous but act blasé. There will be subtle signs, like in how you phrase sentences or your tone, that will be noticeable, and people will think that you are hiding something. And people may find it strange and offputting.
It’s the same reason why pick up artists appear creepy - people can detect that their intentions and worldview don’t match with their exterior façade.
This and just work on being confident in yourself regardless of anyone else. If you can be comfortable in your own skin, it will naturally be attractive VS trying hard to prove yourself
Oh god, that’s terrible advice!
Me with men: “Damn Frank! You see that hottie by the bar?”
“Yeah. I spent the night with her last week! And then again in the morning!”
“Nice!” slaps Franks ass
everybody laughs
The next day:
“Damn Amber! You see that hot stud by the bar?”
“The…the what?”
looks over to bar, only see one person, a guy
“That’s my husband. Wait…are you bi?”
“No. Just treating you like one of the guys. So that’s your husband? Nice!”
slaps ambers ass
deafing silence as Amber rightfully glares
This sounds like more of an issue with how you’re behaving with other men.
we could also say: username checks out!
I don’t think the example you give is a good one. Consent is always important. You don’t slap a dude’s ass without knowing ahead of time that they’re okay with it.
But that aside, there are differences for sure, and I think the most important one is in starting and ending interactions. If you’re a man interacting a woman, you need to be aware of the safety concerns from the woman’s perspective. In almost all interactions, a man can easily leave with no concern for their safety, but it’s not so simple for women, so you’d want to pay closer attention to any signs of discomfort they’re giving off and end the interaction when appropriate, or not starting one if they’re giving “don’t approach me” vibes.
If this is how you treat men, then the OP appears to be one of the smaller problems that you may have
I guess Amber is not a fan of toxic masculinity.
This you?