Buy all the corporations and convert them into worker-owned conglomerates a-la Mondragon. End global capitalism. Sponsor legislation in all governments to end the wealth disparity plaguing the world.

Buy land

Build houses

House people for free

Profit

Fund global universal healthcare, education, housing, food, and internet.

Feed and house the human race, usher my species into the next evolutionary stage of our post scarcity society

I always wanted to have a farm and be well off enough that I could take a good portion of the yield and just give it out in my old neighborhood.

Kids there are starving, most of them have never seen an eggplant, it’s cheap ultraprocessed food or half moldy apples from the food banks.

I know there’s a lot of other stuff too, but I think food education is pretty important, most of the adults I knew didn’t know how to cook resulting in everyone eating worse for more money, thinking they couldn’t afford to eat any healthier.

Although at this point my old neighborhood has been gentrified and filled with $3000/m studio apartments. I’d probably also buy out the neighborhood and give it back to everyone who lived there 10 years ago.

Worldwide free schools, free Healthcare, free shelters and free educations for all who need it

I mean, first I would have an awesome fucking party.

Then I would buy a series of properties in all the different places I want to live. I’d hire personal assistants, trainers, chefs, etc to take care of all the annoying details in my life. I’d also hire experts in various fields to teach me how to improve myself.

And then, before I got too far ahead of myself, I’d hire a team of economists to advise me, because the infinite money hack pretty much always leads to runaway inflation and economic collapse. So let’s not do that.

From there, I would pick a city - probably the one I currently live in - and would start buying up land. Pretty much all land for sale within 50 miles of the city outside the city center, I would buy and hold, halting the progress of outward sprawl. Plots could be leased by vetted permaculturalist farmers, but otherwise the land would be allowed to fallow, becoming a vast nature preserve, held by hundreds of shell corporations.

Next I would tackle auto-oriented infrastructure. I would hire teams of people to stand outside local middle and high schools and give out free e-bikes. (Each e-bike would also come with a friendly, sex-positive information booklet about having sex in a fun, safe, and consent-focused way, plus a box of condoms). Soon, every kid in the city would be flying around the city recklessly. Even if the city passed laws against it, there is no way they could actually effectively enforce the laws against tens of thousands of teenagers. Simultaneously, I would hire teams of guerilla infrastructure workers and properly equip them. Illegal raised pedestrian crossings would soon be sprouting up around the city on a nightly basis, while traffic signals and stop signs are getting clearcut. A game of cat and mouse would ensue, as the city tried to stop the guerilla infrastructure, but facing political pressure from concerned parents of e-biking teens, any infrastructure we built would be left in place.

From there, I would buy up local commercial properties, and lease them to small business owners at below market rates, under the condition that they listen to me rant about parking minumums and the glory of a georgist land value tax scheme once per month. This would create a groundswell political movement in favor of reducing or eliminating other, less efficient forms if taxation, and instead using taxation to drive pro-social outcomes in addition to raising government funds.

Additional space that isnt leased to private enterprise would be used for free adult education centers. Offered classes would focus on what would be most immeditately practical - useful skills for getting a job or a higher-paying job, or else everyday skills that could help people save money learning to do their own home repairs or cook their own food. Once the centers established a reputation for improving peoples’ lives in this way, offerings could be expanded to help people learn higher order or more ephemeral skills, like personal finance, emotional regulation, communication and community-building, and health and fitness.

Education would then be expanded to offer alternative schooling to children. Teachers, of course, would be highly paid, which would draw all the best teachers out of the public school system and would draw skilled professionals out of their other high paying jobs. The stated aim of these schools would be to create adults worthy to be citizens in a liberal democracy. Education in the early years would be focused almost entirely on emotional regulation, social skills, personal responsibility, and the value of education. Resources would be heavily focused on achieving these standards in each student before that student was taught what most consider the fundamental skills in schooling like reading and math. From there, a student’s education would take a two-pronged approach. The first prong would be focused on giving the student the practical skills to be a functioning, independent adult - those things that the adult education centers focused on. This would create a generation of people who could see the collapse of global trade, and still be able to build their own homes and grow their own food if they needed to. As part of this education, students would be offered apprenticeship time at local companies in order to get hands on experience in trades they might consider pursuing. The other prong of their education would focus on creating an understanding of and sense of responsibility for the liberal democracy they lived in, based on enlightenment ideals. They would receive an education in history, government, economics, ecology, the theory of science, and general philosophy. More academic topics, like the much maligned trigonometry, would be elective, left for students who wanted to pursue higher education out of a genuine interest in the careers or subject matter.

Free health care. Enough said.

Meanwhile, I would start funding the creation of open source software initiatives to kneecap the existing social media giants. This software would allow users to scrape data from social media platforms via their user acccounts and interact with it in the form of their choosing. Using facebook as an example - a user could use an alternative interface to log into their facebook account, view friends’ posts in chronological order; remove reels, suggested posts, and ads; and message friends. And in addition, this alternative interface would function as a seamless transition off of the facebook platform. For example, messaging between two users on the platform would happen directly between the users, cutting facebook out of the process. Users could choose to make posts on both the new platform and facebook, or to make posts solely on the new platform. A better UX (importantly, not privacy concerns or a dedication to open source) would draw people to the new platform, gradually sucking facebook dry of users and content. Removing algorithms designed to maximize screen time, social media addiction would have a much harder time taking hold. Additional funds would need to be dedicated to obfuscation of contributors to the project, protection of infrastructure from government or corporate interference, and legal defence fees, as under current laws all this would be illegal and would draw the ire of these corporations.

At this point I’ll say that, with this much money flowing, we’d also need to have layers and layers of administrative overhead dedicated to ensuring that programs are being implemented in accordance to the spirit of the program, and that funds are not being embezzeled or misappropriated. Anyway…

After about 10 years, we would start seeing some real gains from the programs. Lower housing costs, less auto-dependency, more small businesses, more community involvement, and more hope and optimism. As we saw success and learned lessons, we could start expanding these programs to other cities - or simply watch as other cities created their own versions of them. Meanwhile, the purchase of rural properties would continue, piecing together new swaths of land to create vast wildlife preserves. As nearby cities overcame auto oriented design, intercity rail could be built between them, further reducing auto dependency. Bus lines could be funded to run between the reformed walkable cities and the auto-dependent holdouts, allowing for a swift brain drain of holdout cities as the young, intelligent, and ambitious fled for better quality if life.

As more and more people became independent, educated, and community-focused, political agitation could start propagating to national and international levels. Political and campaign finance reform. National pigouvian tax schemes. Crackdowns on corporate collusion. Ending corporate subsidies. Economic sanctions on nations which failed to protect the environment or human rights.

Oh, multiple assassinations.

Provide food, housing, clothing, and other essentials to the people for free. Help them set up their own system of mutual support and solidarity. Make money irrelevant.

Everyone already said the humanitarian ones. I’d live in an off-grid, self-sustaining chalet in a remote mountain location with a wood shop, nice garage for project cars, and high speed internet.

I would divest the world from fossil fuels, fund carbon capture. Build housing and mass transit like mad. Feed everyone who needs it, make education and healthcare human rights.

Basically star trek.

I’d quit my job and pursue my interests and happiness. I’d give back to the community in meaningful ways, like distributing food and clothing. I like helping people.

I’d start an international big-ass lobby bureau for education, consummer’s rights and environment protection.

First things first, I’d spend the next five years quietly buying majority shares of major tech companies through proxies and then create a faux investment board that forces these companies to bend to my will.

during those five years I would be collecting as much evidence as possible against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and use it against them as leverage and make them my pawns.

final part of the plan is to apply pressure to world governments to comply or face economic collapse through pressuring licensing and legal redtape for operating businesses across the globe.

my goals are simple

1. free the people
2. heal the people
3. burn out corruption
4. abolish capitalism
5. free the market

it’s far more complex than what I could even begin to describe here, but that’s the gist of it.

Lots of bad things to lots of bad people. To quote the Count of Monte Cristo: “I will surely use it for revenge.”