I’m often disappointed with myself when I’m angry. It feels like, “a stronger person wouldn’t be mad at this” or “I’m fragile/insecure”. Anger has been the hardest emotion to live with; it just feels wrong.

I always need external validation from others during/after anger. And worse, I need an endless supply of it.

Learning to validate myself is the obvious solution but I don’t have a clue where to start. A self-help book would just sit on a shelf. Do you have any tips?

  • stinky@redlemmy.comOPEnglish
    6·
    3 days ago

    I’m proud of the relationship I have with my son. After many difficult years we’ve reached a place of mutual respect and we’re both comfortable (and knowledgeable) about each other’s boundaries.

    …I’m gonna grab my journal

    thank you <3

    • sopularity_fax@sopuli.xyz
      2·
      2 days ago

      Im beyond glad to hear that about boundaries and having that breakthru for both of you in coming to understand that. Its a very rare thing honestly, its like the holy grail of mental health and overall wellness in my very humble findings. It wont necessarily make you well or whole but it will prevent others from taking you down any further and will ensure you have an upward trend focus going forward

      Keep going whenever you like by replying above this level so you can make a list for yourself to peruse whenever you need a boost for yourself and others can jump in if they have something helpful to supplement that

      Aside, lots of people end up with little or zero eventual relationship with their children because they dont realize how kids grow up and start having a choice and being able to curate their associations to the ones that allow them to feel safe and valued. Sounds like youre way ahead of the game on that one.

      Edit: if your child grows up believing they can talk to you about any problem they’re having without fear of making it worse and actually possibky helping them work thru shit, and they see that you understand when they say they need you or you need them to change behavior and it works out well for everyone in the shared history, you guys will be just fine.

      • stinky@redlemmy.comOPEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        Thanks for the insight, and gentle instructions, you seem like good people

        I may @ you in some of my posts, but please don’t feel obligated to reply, it’s mostly just for visibility, although I would appreciate any feedback when your schedule permits

        Thanks again, be safe and happy

        • sopularity_fax@sopuli.xyz
          1·
          2 days ago

          Happy to be a positive influence :) keep adding to your inventory list here, might be helpful to others as well as yourself