Learn how to forage, shoplift, and garden. If you gotta survive, you gotta survive.

Coats in the summer are suspicious, but a loose button up and good posture gives you enough space at the small of your back to five-finger a brick of cheese or a pack of tortillas. Never steal from the same store twice in one month, they can and will catch onto you. Keep an eye on the customer service desk at 2pm and 6pm, that’s when the plainclothes security guy will either go home or clock in. Learn his face and route, and avoid him.

Most people neglect their fruit trees, but some might be willing to trade things like mowing their lawn for a bag of apples. You can also offer to do things like run errands for disabled neighbors or split groceries. Get on good terms with the people who live next door. Invite each other to dinner.

Goosefoot is more nutritious and tastier than dandelion, and it grows on barren neglected lots that are highly unlikely to be sprayed for pesticides. Dandelion tastes nasty once the leaves get longer than your pinky, and even then, it’s an acquired taste. Goosefoot tastes and cooks just like spinach.