I’m definitely non-binary, but I don’t have the wherewithal to correct people irl, and that goes double for the workplace. I’d rather talk about anything else in the whole world with those people, ugh. (On Lemmy though I lean towards masculine pronouns, mostly as a defense mechanism. I’m used to being seen as leaning feminine in the real world, but coming across that way on the internet scares the shit out of me.)

My pronoun is they/them because it’s between I don’t really care about my gender and I’m busy with something else, and to be vague (being less specific to be identified), as in, gender is IMO irrelevant in most situation, like it doesn’t affect my working performance or conversation.

“What gender are you?”

I dare not delve into matters beyond comprehension, for what can be gained from peering into the unknowable? Nay, let understanding stop at the works of Gods, lest your disturbance be rectified at the lathe of Heaven

Pretty sure boy-moding at work to make life simpler is common and not just among NBs. The reality is everyone lives and works in the world as it currently is and chooses their battles.

In my case it’s more like Bowie mode. That level of fluidity seems to code for most outside the queer community as clearly “alt” but nondescript while still queer-coded to queer colleagues. The only “commentary” I get really is from other women and NBs, like pre-meeting compliment swapping or social check ins, so the nice kind.

E: That said, I’d drop Bowie mode and dial it up in a heartbeat if a new coworker seemed unconfident in their gender, so I guess I’m just looking for an excuse? sigh🥚irl