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Joined 2 年前
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Cake day: 2024年1月24日

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  • As others have said communication. There are going to be some uncomfortable conversations, they aren’t going to get more comfortable by avoiding them. And the more important conversations you have the better you make the foundation for long-term success. Revisit these conversation at least once a year.

    Sex (and what “type” each of you like or want to try), kids, household chore division, finances, etc. The types of affection that you like to give and receive. Make each other feel valued and loved.

    You’re Indian and in an arranged marriage there are family/cultural expectations such as having kids until at least 1 boy, wife doing all chores and childcare. Deferment to your parents etc. These are all in fact unimportant in actually having a successful and (hopefully) happy marriage. Always be on each other’s side more than anyone else’s.

    If she wants you to take the lead, do so but keep it open for her to say no and listen if she does.



















  • Being devil’s advocate here. I like to talk about my kid but I also know other people generally don’t care. You care about your kids its rare for other people, even friends and other parents. So idk whether just not mentioning them or caring about yours matters as to his actual dadness. I would also say that your friend may know he’s free those days for one reason or another. Maybe his wife has unreasonable expectations. The kids are always first but it is possible to make time for your relationship and yourself with some communication and luck. There are also often variations in which parent may be “primary” at times.

    I have heard and seen some parenting things done that are well outside what I/we would do. Sleep training at 2mo, a sorta family pacifier (toddler would drop it, dad/mom would put in their mouth then back in toddler mouth), the cry it out method, being super stringent about feeding times and amounts, allowing rolling walkers, letting baby play at 2am, piercing ears, circumcision, etc. These babies are still growing up fine as far as anyone can tell.

    Your friend and his wife need to communicate with each other and may be helped by couples therapy. You also need to communicate with your friend, judging him from a 2ndhand account by a person biased by their involvement and your own standards is wild.