Might sound silly, but every once in a while, random guys around me (pretty short, female) start humming/making random noises when they get near me, usually when I’m alone. Imagine me standing at a red traffic light at night or something. It’s never women. Sometimes, it’s some creep trying to get my attention, though that’s usually kinda obvious.

But I also had it happen with guys who didn’t seem like they wanted anything. I lowkey suspect that some might make noises so that I’m not caught off guard or something?

Any men on here who do this? Or am I just tripping?


Edit to summarize: So, a few guys apparently do it on purpose, while others think they might do it subconsciously. Some do it around women, others around whomever, since anyone can get scared. Super interesting.

Also, when I spoke of creeps, I meant actual assholes who did and said shitty stuff, not random socially awkward people. You know the drill.

  • lemel@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    Different people have different ways of trying to appear non-threatening. If I am ever behind a woman, I just start running behind them in a friendly chase fashion just to break the ice and make them realize that I am just a goofy harmless guy. Usually, they play along and run as well.

  • ClassifiedPancake@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 day ago

    Not just with women. I usually drag my feet to make some noise when coming from behind. Most times I’m walking faster than other people so I constantly have to overtake them but don’t want to surprise anyone.

    Women specifically I try to avoid passing directly, if it’s not too inconvenient or I will look in another direction, on my phone or whatever to make it clear I’m not interested in them.

    But if a creep approaches her, I do make sure to stand nearby and be openly aware.

    I hate that women need to be so afraid.

    • taxiiiii@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 day ago

      Said it before but: The assholes in the world ruin it for the rest of us. Good on you for keeping an eye out. I do it too, it gets exhausting though.

  • easily3667@lemmus.org
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    1 day ago

    Personally I just walk up behind them, cover their eyes with my hands and yell “guess who?”

    But to each their own

  • SheenSquelcher@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    I go for walks for exercise. Sometimes I encounter lone women in the woods etc and I’ll try and take another route to avoid walking behind them. I feel like announcing by whistling etc would just make things worse. It annoys me that we have to think about these things tbh. I’m gay for fucks sakes, ive got zero interest in women. Im just out and about minding my own damn business.

    • taxiiiii@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 day ago

      Lol, I’m not into men and I very much wish that would exempt me from the harassment. The assholes in this world ruin it for the rest of us.

  • Dragonstaff@leminal.space
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    1 day ago

    Humming seems a bit odd. I wonder if those people are just humming to themselves.

    I’ll do things like scuffing my feet, jingling my keys, or pretending to talk on my phone. I am a large guy and I naturally walk very quietly. I have scared quite a few women, and honestly, it is unpleasant for both of us.

  • wewbull@feddit.uk
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    2 days ago

    Yes.

    I’m 6’5" and broad but the number of jump scares I cause is ludicrous. Most people (especially women) seem to have no situational awareness to the point where they miss gorillas approaching them.

    If it’s a stranger then I’ll try to announce my approach from further away. If it’s someone I know I’ll see how high I can make them jump.

    Edit: just saw you label some of these people creeps. They’re not. This is a massive green light that they don’t want to accidentally scare you.

    • MintyFresh@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      Lol I’m a huge dude and I do the same. I usually go with a good foot scruff. Not too obnoxious, and most people will instantly identify it as someone is walking up.

    • jet@hackertalks.com
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      2 days ago

      yeah… i’ve noticed this too; Many people say I just appear out of thin air and startle them… that isn’t possible, I’m not stealthy… they just have zero situational awareness

    • taxiiiii@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      No, I meant actual creeps, like someone making a noise and then aggressively hitting on me or saying something disgusting. Those happen from time to time.

      You’re good.

  • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I often “accidentally” drag my feet a little bit to make my footsteps are a little bit more audible.

    I’m usually a very quiet walker, so I just want to make sure my presence is known, as opposed to startling people.

  • sylver_dragon@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Not humming, but I do make noise intentionally. I’m a big guy and understand that I could be threatening to women in the wrong circumstance. I also walk fairly quietly just as a matter of the way I walk; so, I’ve scared folks on more than one occasion by “sneaking” up on them unintentionally. So, if I think I am doing that, I’ll land a few footfalls hard and flat to make my foot slap the ground and alert the person of my presence before I get too close. I also try to give space to strangers while walking. Things like moving to the other side of the sidewalk/street, slowing down or speeding up to pass. Basically, trying to not look like I’m stalking them.

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    As someone who gets mistaken for a man: Yes. I clear my throat, shuffle my feet, make some kind of noise. If it’s a headphone wearer, I’m either going to slow down to make space or give them a wide berth if it can’t be avoided.

  • eezeebee@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    I’ll clear my throat, jingle my keys, make louder footsteps to make my presence known, especially at night or when turning a corner. It’s not just for women, but for any person or animal to not be startled.

    I think it’s a combination of courtesy, habit from having worked in a restaurant kitchen, and camping in bear country.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      If I could see any practice from my time working food service make it into the general population, it would be “Behind” and “Heard”.

  • BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    I have to do it just walking around the house. If I’m not in the room for a minute and suddenly appear my wife gets scared. I’m not intentionally quiet, but I walk gently most of the time. I’ve joked that I need to get a bell around my neck.

  • golden_zealot@lemmy.ml
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    Yes, the fear is typically that we don’t want to be accused of following you, sneaking up on you, or being creepy, so there is usually some noise or overt thing we do to try to imply we are just minding our own business.

    Sometimes to avoid the situation all together, (let’s say I am walking home at night and I see some woman walking the same direction ahead of me, and I know I am going to end up passing her because my pace is faster), then we will literally cross the street just so that we don’t have to be put in the awkward situation of walking up to and past you at 3 am on a public sidewalk.

    There are other things beyond this as well that men do or avoid doing which women might not realize. Most men in my experience are really careful to never be left alone with children for example. No one blinks an eye if a woman is, but men have learned to avoid potential false accusations in this way as well.

    A lot of men are fearful to do something as simple as taking their kids to the park because of this. You can search for articles in which fathers who take their own kids to the park have been accused of being pedophiles just for sitting on a bench while their children play, or accused of kidnapping just because they are an adult man with a child in public. You won’t find any articles about this happening with a woman.

    • Ænima@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      This is a fear my therapist and I have talked about. I didn’t understand why children made me uncomfortable to be around. We discovered that it wasn’t about the kid, nor their age, but the perception. And I think some kids pick up on that anxiety.

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    1 day ago

    I certainly don’t. I just act like they don’t exist and mind my own business unless they make some effort to engage with me. I’m built like a goblin though so I don’t think I’m particularly scary to most people.

    • taxiiiii@lemmy.worldOP
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      Among the guys who answered with yes, more than one stated to be on the bigger/taller side, which makes sense. I also know some taller, sporty looking women who look out for people being afraid of them sometimes. Never happens to me, I’m the female goblin.

  • Sequentialsilence@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I took a different approach, I put my keys on a carabiner so I jingle when I walk. It makes it really hard to accidentally startle people.