I feel like men sometimes look at women as “there’s my fuckhole”, and I feel like women sometimes look at men as “there’s my validation”.

In both cases, the person is wrong for thinking of the other gender as being there exclusively to fill the role that they’ve cast for the other.

I’ve dated women where I wasn’t me. I was “the boyfriend”. A role that literally any male could have played. Because who I was didn’t matter. My personality wasn’t being considered. My needs and wants and goals weren’t given any thought because to these women, none of that mattered. I was there exclusively to fill the role of validating her insecurities that she is able to find someone, anyone, to love her.

On the flip side of that, I have in decades gone by been guilty of fucking a girl, simply because she let me. Where I realized our personalities didn’t mesh. We weren’t going to last long term. So just shut the fuck up as I fuck you in the ass.

The one major difference, is that in my ex’s case, she was lying to herself that I mattered. So therefore she was also lying to me, because she was trying to convince herself that we were a match.

Whereas I tried to date the girl I eventually just fucked. But after a month, I realized our personalities did not mesh. So I was upfront. She was free to leave, or free to be bend over and be treated like a human sex doll.

Although I can’t say all guys will be honest if they’re just using you for sex.

The point is, you need to ask yourself if you want “a boyfriend” or if you want to start dating (insert person’s name here) because (person) makes you happy when you’re around them.

And watch out for guys just using you for sex. If you’re fine with it, it can be a lot of fun. You’re free to try out kinks judgement free without long term consequence.

But if you’re NOT fine with casual sex, you need to know that’s what it is.