Do you consider ghosting people a reasonable way to deal with today’s overwhelming and constant information and notification overload? Or do you find it offensive and unfriendly?
Would you equate it to a person ignoring you irl or is ignoring a text different?
For this post let’s assume the people involved are or were in the past friends, and ghosting is leaving someone on “read” for more than 2 days.
This doesn’t match how I’m used to seeing ghosting defined.
That behavior might be unfriendly, but there are a ton of innocuous reasons people do it. People are busy and not every message merits a prompt reply. If someone sends me something that requires more time or attention than I have at that moment like a video or news article, I’m likely to make a mental note to look at it later. I might actually remember, and then remember to send a reply about it. I might not.
It’s maybe a little rude not to respond to something more important or time-sensitive, but I can always ask again or use something more synchronous like a voice call. People are busy, life happens, tech can be unreliable. It’s best not to assume intentional disrespect.
My understanding of the term “ghosting” is permanent or long-term cessation of communication over all channels without explanation. That should be reserved for situations where someone is a physical danger or behaved in a manner so egregious they almost certainly know what they did.
Yeah, there seem to be two definitions of ghosting.
The actual definition is when someone you have an established relationship with cuts off all communication without explaination. For example, if your girlfriend of a year and a half just stopped responding to all texts and calls and blocks you on all socials, that would be ghosting.
Then there is the terminally online and emotionally fragile definition, which is when literally anyone doesn’t respond to your messages with the utmost urgency and priority. Eg, a girl you matched with on a dating app doesn’t keep your endless boring conversations going. Or, as here, a friend doesn’t respond to a text immediately.
Unfortunately, the second definition tends to predominate online, and it’s hard not to feel the cringe when someone uses it.
Texts are literally made for busy people. I don’t understand how you can call later but not have time later to check their text. Calls demand you at the very moment but texts allow you to respond whenever you are free.
Uh sure. Texts allow you to respond whenever you are free. But if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. My free time is my own for me to use in any way I please. And if I don’t want to reply to anyone in particular during my free time, no one should judge me for that. I’ll reply to you when I want to. That’s why it’s asynchronous communication. Need something more immediate? Call. Visit. Or try texting again (but don’t send a barrage of texts.)
I am likely to send more texts, but at some point, if someone is not getting back to me in the timeframe I want them to, I will call them to force the issue rather than silently getting mad about their slow response.