Edit:
I misinterpreted this!
It’s someone saying ‘you’re being dumb’ and the character telling them, 10 years later, to suck it.
I originally thought that the meme meant to say:
10 years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to dismiss people saying this because of the lack of progress in the field/community.
And that now, 10 years later, you can dismiss these statements outright.
Thx @princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone for the explanation. But I am not a troll just because I didn’t understand it the same way you did instantly :)
Original comment:
This is a really bad approach as a blanket statement :/
Yes, a phase can be permanent (I got out of my ‘its temporary’ mindset as well and now know its permanent), but this is not a general rule.
Relationship not going perfectly? That may be permanent or just a phase, but you should definitely not assume just because you suddenly have a drop that it is permanent! Most of life goes through highs and lows, especially in social contexts.
This is, IMO, a seriously toxic approach.
“I’ve had a disagreement with something with my lifelong best friend, now I am angry with him so I will immediately end the entire relationship because of this temporary issue without putting any work into resolving misunderstandings.”
This sounds so entitled I can’t even. Put effort into issues, see if you can resolve temporary feelings or problems. Find out, calmly, if they are temporary or permanent for yourself.
Don’t make rash decisions under uncertainty. Don’t make permanent decision based on temporary situations.
Think first.
This applies just the same with your own secuality. Calmly think for yourself. OFC others should stfu.
I think the meme demonstrates how in hindsight you can see that being trans wasn’t a phase, but you can’t change that it happened. As much as I wish I could’ve cracked my egg faster, in reality there were so many hurdles I needed to overcome the hard way. Only encouragement to explore my gender at a younger age could’ve helped, but that was out of my control. I did my best and it wasn’t easy.
With this context, I would also agree with the meme. And obviously, in your situation, encouragement would be much better.
I was also in a situation of being dismissed, and I believed the people saying these things too.
But I also remember friends of mine appealing to my critical thinking, like: “Okay, maybe think about this some more instead of doing the first thing that seems like you want to do”. I wouldn’t be here if I just dismissed all those critiques as well, just because they are phrased as in this meme…
As in?
“Your current feelings might be a temporary state of mind” is a sensible thing to say.
Dismissing that in a general context, as this meme does, is ,IMO ,not healthy. I think it’s a slippery slope argument.
In addition to what I wrote before, it also seems like a really easy way to dismiss any critique about sudden courses of action.
Yeah but you’re extrapolating a whole bunch of situations that this phraseology isn’t used for, like toxic relationships. It’s speaking to the “it’s just a phase” mentality that gets used to dismiss queer identities like being trans or gay. It’s actually not super clear whether the two people in the second panel are supposed to be, like, “me from the future” or if the one doing the stamping is proving a “hater” wrong with her identity.
Either way, I found your comment to be kind of unhelpful…
What exactly does this phrasing not apply to? It is phrased as a blanket statement, and that’s what I don’t think is healthy.
If this said “your gender is for sure just a temporary phase,” and someone stamped that as wrong, I would agree with the stamping.
You might be right that I am just splitting hairs, but I find the phrasing generalistic and toxic.
I think a blanket statement, like the one shown here, without any other context, should not be taken as gospel. That is a critique of me personally.
I also absolutely agree with what you are saying, but only in that context that you are describing.
… Now that I am reading this back I might be overinterpreting internet culture, I am not into memes as I used to so maybe the context is more obvious than I am used to…
… Now that I am reading this back I might be overinterpreting internet culture, I am not into memes as I used to so maybe the context is more obvious than I am used to…
Are you queer? Because I feel like most queer folks recognise this phrase and how it’s used to sow doubt and cause harm. To me, what you’re implying is toxic, not what’s said in the OP.
I am struggling to understand why approaching any topic with calm and critical thinking instead of potentially rash action based on potentially temporary feelings is toxic?
If you’re internally dating to be queer for a long time, that clearly is not a temporary situation. If you then talk to someone and they throw that statement, of course, they can go f themselves.
My critique is that this phrase is very general and not healthy to just put out there in a general context. Words mean things, in general.
This is not a phrase like arbeit macht frei or something that is obviously used in bad faith.
The phrase is, in my opinion, reasonable.
I am sharing that, in my experience, if I had used this approach on everything my friends or family have said, I would not be where I am today, and I definitely regret a LOT of decisions that I thankfully avoided because people told me to go slow and think critically before acting. or “Not acting on a potentially temporary feeling”.
If my experience is unhealthy to you, so be it, but it’s not toxic to tell you what or how I have made positive experiences hearing this phrase. To me, especially how it’s drawn here the character with the stamp is being toxic. Dismissing without asking someone who is calmly saying something.
Depict the saying character in a dismissive or hostile way? Fair point.
I used to be in the queer community more, but was trying to get away from the internet in general after experiencing just … general hostility to any challenge to any kind of established thought or trend.
I am struggling to understand why approaching any topic with calm and critical thinking instead of potentially rash action based on potentially temporary feelings is toxic?
To me, especially how it’s drawn here the character with the stamp is being toxic. Dismissing without asking someone who is calmly saying something. Depict the saying character in a dismissive or hostile way? Fair point.
How is a ten year gap a rash decision? Based off who the artist is, the feminine character is also most likely trans, and it wouldn’t be too much of a leap to assume that her feminineness is what was being called a ‘phase’ in the first panel.
Whether intentional or not, your comments here come across as concern trolling, so I’m going to disengage now. Have a good day though! <3
Oohhh we are both interpreting this differently!
Okay now I get and yeah youre right. Then I misread this.
I understood this as ‘10 years ago it was like that and you’d have to eat it, and now, people can just tell them they are wrong because of the progress in the field’
I didn’t think of it as "I can finally tell people who told me it was being rash 10 years ago to suck it.
Makes more sense tbh :/ sorry for misinterpreting this.
But not everyone is a troll who has a different view of you, I just understood it differently
My interpretation: the author of the comic is reflecting on a time when they dismissed their feeling of gender incongruence as a phase, which turned out to be totally wrong. I don’t see this as advancing a strong message to gender questioning people that they should act on their feelings in a particular way. It’s one person’s expression of personal experience, and relevant to this community. I really think that’s about as deep as this goes.
Edit: I misinterpreted this! It’s someone saying ‘you’re being dumb’ and the character telling them, 10 years later, to suck it.
I originally thought that the meme meant to say:
10 years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to dismiss people saying this because of the lack of progress in the field/community. And that now, 10 years later, you can dismiss these statements outright.
Thx @princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone for the explanation. But I am not a troll just because I didn’t understand it the same way you did instantly :)
Original comment:
This is a really bad approach as a blanket statement :/ Yes, a phase can be permanent (I got out of my ‘its temporary’ mindset as well and now know its permanent), but this is not a general rule.
Relationship not going perfectly? That may be permanent or just a phase, but you should definitely not assume just because you suddenly have a drop that it is permanent! Most of life goes through highs and lows, especially in social contexts.
This is, IMO, a seriously toxic approach. “I’ve had a disagreement with something with my lifelong best friend, now I am angry with him so I will immediately end the entire relationship because of this temporary issue without putting any work into resolving misunderstandings.” This sounds so entitled I can’t even. Put effort into issues, see if you can resolve temporary feelings or problems. Find out, calmly, if they are temporary or permanent for yourself.
Don’t make rash decisions under uncertainty. Don’t make permanent decision based on temporary situations. Think first.
This applies just the same with your own secuality. Calmly think for yourself. OFC others should stfu.
I think the meme demonstrates how in hindsight you can see that being trans wasn’t a phase, but you can’t change that it happened. As much as I wish I could’ve cracked my egg faster, in reality there were so many hurdles I needed to overcome the hard way. Only encouragement to explore my gender at a younger age could’ve helped, but that was out of my control. I did my best and it wasn’t easy.
With this context, I would also agree with the meme. And obviously, in your situation, encouragement would be much better. I was also in a situation of being dismissed, and I believed the people saying these things too.
But I also remember friends of mine appealing to my critical thinking, like: “Okay, maybe think about this some more instead of doing the first thing that seems like you want to do”. I wouldn’t be here if I just dismissed all those critiques as well, just because they are phrased as in this meme…
I feel like you’re projecting a lot onto this meme that isn’t there?
As in? “Your current feelings might be a temporary state of mind” is a sensible thing to say. Dismissing that in a general context, as this meme does, is ,IMO ,not healthy. I think it’s a slippery slope argument. In addition to what I wrote before, it also seems like a really easy way to dismiss any critique about sudden courses of action.
Yeah but you’re extrapolating a whole bunch of situations that this phraseology isn’t used for, like toxic relationships. It’s speaking to the “it’s just a phase” mentality that gets used to dismiss queer identities like being trans or gay. It’s actually not super clear whether the two people in the second panel are supposed to be, like, “me from the future” or if the one doing the stamping is proving a “hater” wrong with her identity.
Either way, I found your comment to be kind of unhelpful…
What exactly does this phrasing not apply to? It is phrased as a blanket statement, and that’s what I don’t think is healthy. If this said “your gender is for sure just a temporary phase,” and someone stamped that as wrong, I would agree with the stamping.
You might be right that I am just splitting hairs, but I find the phrasing generalistic and toxic. I think a blanket statement, like the one shown here, without any other context, should not be taken as gospel. That is a critique of me personally.
I also absolutely agree with what you are saying, but only in that context that you are describing.
… Now that I am reading this back I might be overinterpreting internet culture, I am not into memes as I used to so maybe the context is more obvious than I am used to…
Are you queer? Because I feel like most queer folks recognise this phrase and how it’s used to sow doubt and cause harm. To me, what you’re implying is toxic, not what’s said in the OP.
I am struggling to understand why approaching any topic with calm and critical thinking instead of potentially rash action based on potentially temporary feelings is toxic?
If you’re internally dating to be queer for a long time, that clearly is not a temporary situation. If you then talk to someone and they throw that statement, of course, they can go f themselves.
My critique is that this phrase is very general and not healthy to just put out there in a general context. Words mean things, in general. This is not a phrase like arbeit macht frei or something that is obviously used in bad faith. The phrase is, in my opinion, reasonable.
I am sharing that, in my experience, if I had used this approach on everything my friends or family have said, I would not be where I am today, and I definitely regret a LOT of decisions that I thankfully avoided because people told me to go slow and think critically before acting. or “Not acting on a potentially temporary feeling”.
If my experience is unhealthy to you, so be it, but it’s not toxic to tell you what or how I have made positive experiences hearing this phrase. To me, especially how it’s drawn here the character with the stamp is being toxic. Dismissing without asking someone who is calmly saying something. Depict the saying character in a dismissive or hostile way? Fair point.
I used to be in the queer community more, but was trying to get away from the internet in general after experiencing just … general hostility to any challenge to any kind of established thought or trend.
How is a ten year gap a rash decision? Based off who the artist is, the feminine character is also most likely trans, and it wouldn’t be too much of a leap to assume that her feminineness is what was being called a ‘phase’ in the first panel.
Whether intentional or not, your comments here come across as concern trolling, so I’m going to disengage now. Have a good day though! <3
Oohhh we are both interpreting this differently! Okay now I get and yeah youre right. Then I misread this.
I understood this as ‘10 years ago it was like that and you’d have to eat it, and now, people can just tell them they are wrong because of the progress in the field’
I didn’t think of it as "I can finally tell people who told me it was being rash 10 years ago to suck it.
Makes more sense tbh :/ sorry for misinterpreting this.
But not everyone is a troll who has a different view of you, I just understood it differently
My interpretation: the author of the comic is reflecting on a time when they dismissed their feeling of gender incongruence as a phase, which turned out to be totally wrong. I don’t see this as advancing a strong message to gender questioning people that they should act on their feelings in a particular way. It’s one person’s expression of personal experience, and relevant to this community. I really think that’s about as deep as this goes.