I’m a Spanish person living in the Netherlands for already almost 9 years. In one hand at some point in these last years, I started to feel like I don’t belong in Spain anymore, and on the other hand, I think I’ll never feel fully integrated in NL. Any thoughts? Advice? Someone feeling the same?
I’m black. Enough said. LoL. I don’t have a country.
Black American - Dont belong in America. Don’t belong in Africa. Don’t belong in Europe. Don’t belong in the Caribbean. And Asia??? LMAO!
I think only France wants me… and that I don’t get.
Edit: I’m also a black nerd on top of that. So fun times.
You’d be surprised … there are bigots everywhere but I have found multiple people in my travels that find black American culture fascinating. It’s something that the average European has no exposure to so they find it “exotic”
Do you live in a very white area?
Because it seems like the Black people here in Philly are just chillin’. I mean like… I feel like they “fit in” more than Asian Americans “fit in”…
There are Black people all over Philly, but in contrast, in some areas, I felt like I was the only person with an East Asian face…
That’s how us Jews feel. We’ve felt that way for thousands of years.
We certainly dont belong in Palestine. The fascist Zionists fucked that up bad.
I left my old homestate 3 1/2 years ago. I miss it sometimes, but being away from it for so long, has helped me realize that I miss and was chasing the times that have long gone by me. I was seeing the signs and writings on the wall. I can’t say I’m fully accustomed to the state I went to, but, nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
i have never felt line I belong anywhere , so doesn’t matter where I am :)
doesn’t answer your question about integrating though, just to let you know you’re not aloe… As an Australian I’m just jealous you’re in the EU with freedom of movement
I’ve never felt like I fully belonged anywhere. It doesn’t really bother me anymore most of the time.
I’ve lived 5-20years in 4 different countries. I moved over 40 times. I belong to the world, home is where the heart is
This is interesting because I always feel like I adapt when I move and become a version of myself that does fit in.
I grew up a city boy.
Moved to the country and began wearing outdoor gear and rock climbing until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
Moved to a hippy town and started smoking weed in tie dye until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
Moved to NYC and started wearing a hat and an overcoat until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
And now I’m on the border of Mexico and don’t look anything like my neighbors, but apparently I’ve picked up enough Spanglish that people have still started asking me what region of Mexico my family is from (none).
I’ve retained little elements from each phase of my life and carried them over into the next, but every level also stands out as a distinct hybridized version of myself that I became for a time. In turn, it helped me discover new parts of myself that I would not have found if I hadn’t changed how I was living to fit my environment.
So, if you feel like you don’t fit in, maybe try to adapt to your surroundings so it is a little easier for people to meet you in the middle culturally.
Fantastic advice!
I also tend to be a chameleon in different situations, and I’d like to point out to any naysayers, that even though it may look like these people aren’t being true to “themselves” they really aren’t faking it to fit in. We’re exploring these people’s lifestyles and gaining interest in them. We learn to appreciate these things that our neighbors or coworkers are into and incorporate the things we enjoy into our own personal identity.
Yeah i have that.
My best advice is that it matters more where you’re going than where you’re coming from.
Hello fellow Vagrant, I’m also out of place … Cuban born, raised in Spain for 16 years now living in the US for 20.
I like to think my “homeland” is the internet … it’s the only place people like you and I fit in.
In fact, the FEDIVERSE to be more precise is where I feel I fit the best.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/9JnuxejJaZwAAAAd/starwarsmay4-hans.gif
Como dice Mago de Oz “No eches raizes en un sitio muvete, pues no heres un arbol para eso tienes dos pies”
The key is to keep moving. Just keep running and you’ll always feel free /s
I still live in my home country and I also feel a similar way. I’m too weird to be normal, but I’m too normal to be weird. I can fit in anywhere and adapt to just about anything, but no where does it feel like I belong. It’s an existence that feels and is very liminal.
It’s not anyone’s fault. I’m wired in a very peculiar way. There isn’t really anything I or anyone else can really do. All I can do is keep trying to meet people, do things I like, and trying new things I like and maybe some day something will click. Being about 1/3 of the way through my life though that’s not super likely. Could be worse. Could be better.
my best advice is to think
“I was born in X country but Y country formed the person I am”
I can’t say anything about the general culture of Spain or the Netherlands, but I am an American who lived in Japan for a while and I have had similar thoughts.
My advice is to stop worrying about integrating like this. I’m not saying to stop integrating more. You’re a human so that is almost inevitable. It is the worrying that is the problem, not the integrating.
Dude, I clearly don’t fit here in Belgium and I’m born and raised here… I wish I could claim « internet citizenship » since I somehow find more like minded people here.
You are definitely not alone, my friend.
Born in Portugal, but due to some traumatic events and childhood traumas, I don’t like living there. And just don’t fit in with their personality and lifestyle.
I live in the UK for 10 years now and honestly I like it here, and feel much better here than my home country.
Try having some local friends and reflect how you can integrate more. It doesn’t need to be a a big change. Just small changes.
Funny enough, there is a Portuguese singer that sings: “… I am well where I am not …”
I guess it’s the case for me, you and many people.
