I’m a Spanish person living in the Netherlands for already almost 9 years. In one hand at some point in these last years, I started to feel like I don’t belong in Spain anymore, and on the other hand, I think I’ll never feel fully integrated in NL. Any thoughts? Advice? Someone feeling the same?
I’m black. Enough said. LoL. I don’t have a country.
Black American - Dont belong in America. Don’t belong in Africa. Don’t belong in Europe. Don’t belong in the Caribbean. And Asia??? LMAO!
I think only France wants me… and that I don’t get.
Edit: I’m also a black nerd on top of that. So fun times.
You’d be surprised … there are bigots everywhere but I have found multiple people in my travels that find black American culture fascinating. It’s something that the average European has no exposure to so they find it “exotic”
Do you live in a very white area?
Because it seems like the Black people here in Philly are just chillin’. I mean like… I feel like they “fit in” more than Asian Americans “fit in”…
There are Black people all over Philly, but in contrast, in some areas, I felt like I was the only person with an East Asian face…
That’s how us Jews feel. We’ve felt that way for thousands of years.
We certainly dont belong in Palestine. The fascist Zionists fucked that up bad.
I left my old homestate 3 1/2 years ago. I miss it sometimes, but being away from it for so long, has helped me realize that I miss and was chasing the times that have long gone by me. I was seeing the signs and writings on the wall. I can’t say I’m fully accustomed to the state I went to, but, nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
i have never felt line I belong anywhere , so doesn’t matter where I am :)
doesn’t answer your question about integrating though, just to let you know you’re not aloe… As an Australian I’m just jealous you’re in the EU with freedom of movement
I’ve never felt like I fully belonged anywhere. It doesn’t really bother me anymore most of the time.
I’ve lived 5-20years in 4 different countries. I moved over 40 times. I belong to the world, home is where the heart is
Yeah i have that.
My best advice is that it matters more where you’re going than where you’re coming from.
Hello fellow Vagrant, I’m also out of place … Cuban born, raised in Spain for 16 years now living in the US for 20.
I like to think my “homeland” is the internet … it’s the only place people like you and I fit in.
In fact, the FEDIVERSE to be more precise is where I feel I fit the best.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/9JnuxejJaZwAAAAd/starwarsmay4-hans.gif
Como dice Mago de Oz “No eches raizes en un sitio muvete, pues no heres un arbol para eso tienes dos pies”
The key is to keep moving. Just keep running and you’ll always feel free /s
I still live in my home country and I also feel a similar way. I’m too weird to be normal, but I’m too normal to be weird. I can fit in anywhere and adapt to just about anything, but no where does it feel like I belong. It’s an existence that feels and is very liminal.
It’s not anyone’s fault. I’m wired in a very peculiar way. There isn’t really anything I or anyone else can really do. All I can do is keep trying to meet people, do things I like, and trying new things I like and maybe some day something will click. Being about 1/3 of the way through my life though that’s not super likely. Could be worse. Could be better.
my best advice is to think
“I was born in X country but Y country formed the person I am”
I mean, belonging is more about the people tham the place. You can find locales that your soul attaches to (I camp at one such place a couple hours from here every summer. I should ask the wife about another camping trip to my favorite campsite I am willing to tell people about, sugarloaf ridge by Santa Rosa, CA. So many great memories out there. That’s another place that soothes my heart.
But like, it’s the people with whom you find home and your belonging. That’s where the metaphorical “Home” is. If you’re close enough with your friends that you can tell them your problems (believe me I know how shallow some friendships can get and how you can cling to them because at least it’s a friend), and/or if you’re in a relationship, tell them you don’t feel like you belong, you think it’s a mental health thing but you’re not sure, and you could use a little extra support the next little bit. Real friends will be there.
Same story.
My advice is : make friends that you like to be with. Get outside, breath some fresh air and looks around.
Or maybe find another city/country to live in with your lifestyle aligned.
Yes, and I think a lot of immigrants and especially immigrants (grand-)children feel that way. We are lions in the sea and sharks in the woods. It’s always difficult to explain to teachers (those who mean well) that not only I do not feel like a German, but I don’t even consider it necessary. To me personally it’s positive. I like cultures and traditions and obviously they are still part of my identity. But I like that I don’t have the vulnerability of making them a bigger part of my identity than they need to be.
I do know people who have had that. One fellow I new was German but loves in the US and still has a German twang in his voice, so in the US he is considered German. But when he goes home to Germany because he has picked up an American accent he is considered American so he doesn’t feel at home in either place.
I was born in Germany, but grew up in Brazil. I moved to Germany when i was 20 and am still living here. I have the same experience and am really sad that i really felt like having lost “my” Brazil the last times i went there, if it makes sense.
