I mean, I most certainly am enby, I don’t have any strong feeling regarding being female or male (even though I jolt a bit when I am addressed as he/him and feel fuzzy when being addressed by my she/her pronouns). But I am self diagnosed, and I always need validation from the outside; why can’t I feel valid on my own by my self. I hate it.
You sound very cisn’t to me for what it’s worth. Feelings of ambivalence are often disassociation from the fact that you aren’t able to be yourself. After getting a taste of euphoria, it becomes more difficult to live the way you used to. You also start to want more; often more than you ever imagined you’d want.
In my experience, it becomes much harder to invalidate yourself as you experience more euphoria and allow your desire for change to grow. A cis person wouldn’t enjoy escaping the confines of their own gender, and wouldn’t feel so disappointed if they’re unable to do so.
And remember, the only thing you need to be another gender is the desire to be one. There are no special gatekeepers; those that try to gatekeep only deny the truth. You can just be an enby if you want; it’s that simple
For what it’s worth: “on my own by my self” is overrated. It’s good to seek advice, it’s good to look for validation, interactions matter. That’s just being human. No one’s an island. For me taking baby steps in terms of gender expression really paid off when I started playing it out outside. Nothing bad happens and people are generally in sunnier dispositions towards me. Despite the stress of not conforming I paradoxically feel way more confident because I’m not bottling it up anymore. What you see is what you get. As a matter of fact I’ve enjoyed people being somewhat thrown off. The thrill of little rebellions.
Also self-diagnosis is the only real diagnosis for gender identity. And fluidity’s a thing too. It’s a journey. You can’t be wrong.
At this point I’m not sure if I’m encouraging you or myself lol. Anyways you’re OK, I’m OK, we’re OK. We might even be cool
Mhm my Pipeline ended in the middle, but iam fine with that.
So you wish you were nonbinary? Why do you think you’re not?
I mean, I most certainly am enby, I don’t have any strong feeling regarding being female or male (even though I jolt a bit when I am addressed as he/him and feel fuzzy when being addressed by my she/her pronouns). But I am self diagnosed, and I always need validation from the outside; why can’t I feel valid on my own by my self. I hate it.
You sound very cisn’t to me for what it’s worth. Feelings of ambivalence are often disassociation from the fact that you aren’t able to be yourself. After getting a taste of euphoria, it becomes more difficult to live the way you used to. You also start to want more; often more than you ever imagined you’d want.
In my experience, it becomes much harder to invalidate yourself as you experience more euphoria and allow your desire for change to grow. A cis person wouldn’t enjoy escaping the confines of their own gender, and wouldn’t feel so disappointed if they’re unable to do so.
And remember, the only thing you need to be another gender is the desire to be one. There are no special gatekeepers; those that try to gatekeep only deny the truth. You can just be an enby if you want; it’s that simple
For what it’s worth: “on my own by my self” is overrated. It’s good to seek advice, it’s good to look for validation, interactions matter. That’s just being human. No one’s an island. For me taking baby steps in terms of gender expression really paid off when I started playing it out outside. Nothing bad happens and people are generally in sunnier dispositions towards me. Despite the stress of not conforming I paradoxically feel way more confident because I’m not bottling it up anymore. What you see is what you get. As a matter of fact I’ve enjoyed people being somewhat thrown off. The thrill of little rebellions.
Also self-diagnosis is the only real diagnosis for gender identity. And fluidity’s a thing too. It’s a journey. You can’t be wrong.
At this point I’m not sure if I’m encouraging you or myself lol. Anyways you’re OK, I’m OK, we’re OK. We might even be cool