My go is for the Buzzard, it would sure as hell make desert trips and heat waves seem a lot less worrying and paranoiac.
Elephants. I feel like they just eat to many leaves and its an inefficient build. They are like an American F150
They walk around the jungle stomping on things and eating a lot. They can squirt water from their trunk and what else? I like em but dont get the point of them.
Humans.
Here’s the answer I was looking for! I’m surprised I had to scroll so far to reach it. We are the source of most of what’s wrong with the world so I’m pretty sure the rest of the animals would vote us off the island too.
Sorry that’s fucking gross. OP wants to walk through a world of rotting meat and unscavenged carcasses. Seriously. Read up on what happened to vultures in India when they gave all their cattle Diclofenac.
Cultures might not be pretty but they are fucking awesome and entirely necessary. Why peeps gotta hate on the cleaning staff I don’t know.
How decline of Indian vultures led to 500,000 human deaths
Also vultures are beautiful.
My sweet girl Zsa Zsa.
And there is the King Vulture.
Bearded Vulture
Egyptian Vulture
Yeah, I think culturally we just don’t like things that remind us of dead things, and if a lot of scavengers are around, it means something’s dead or about to be.
I’m glad people are coming around to realizing how essential (and honestly really cool) they are, as much as I’d never wanna kiss or even smell one. 😉
King Vulture looks like a kid coloured it, just pure chaos.
😆
I will say, it does make me feel like I’m a bit on the boring side being fairly monochromatic.
Just need a glowup from a 5 year old and some paint!
Bearded vultures swallow bones, often shattered after they drop them onto rocks from great heights, but sometimes whole. They are so badass.
Very awesome! Some quick reading says the bones are actually their primary diet. They’d often rather have the bones than the meat. Talk about a biological niche.
And it can chomp down some huge looking bones!
I agree, but got different reasons.
OP went with “less paranoic” as their barrier of choice, whereas the “tick” and “mosquito” choices are actual posts that are dangerous.
Personally I fall in the mosquito camp. I don’t know if anything depending on them specifically. And even if there is, I’m ok with sacrificing them too.
Oh no, vultures are great.
For me—probably ticks.
Was looking for this before commenting. They are terrible creatures full of dissease. I’d pick them to be banished to hell instantly.
Then I could finally got hammocking in shorts without a full body inspection every evening.
If you scroll down a lot of ppl agree with us. Horrible little things. I’m in the midlantic and this year, everyone I know who’s gone camping or hiking has come home with at least one tick. Every. Single. Time.
Mosquito
mosquito
humans
We’re practically descendants from the simians so I think it’s time to devolve back to where we were moulded from.
Fuck ticks.
Ourselves.
I love vultures so much! Nature’s garbage crew.
I will have to go with palmetto bugs, sorry guys you freak me out so bad and I think there are other bugs that turn leaves into dirt without being nightmare fuel.
All I see here are a bunch of cowards, just look at all the top posts here, what do they have in common? Bedbugs, ticks, mosquitos… all parasites that target humans. That’s too easy, anyone can get behind that.
But I’m actually willing to step out on a limb and say something. Manatees. What have manatees done for me lately? Laying about… Aggressively loitering in our estuaries! Get a job you lazy sea cows. You think kelp grows on trees? They’re a drain on the global economy and a blubberous aquatic menace! Let’s get rid of them!
Narwhals. Don’t let them touch your balls.
Ugh. Easy. The St Barnabus Mite (they call them Wringlers in the US, I think). Hate, hate, hate them. Nasty, relentless, ethereal, bitey little shitlords, and they’re so resilient they turn up everywhere. They can fuck right off.
Edit: Holy shit, it worked!
I wonder what the world would be like without humans?
Mosquito
Grizzlies.
