Just to start with I am not looking for anything sappy or “life is beautiful you need to wait” type things.
So it is just 6:36 am, and I am lying in bed. Its hot and humid, there is no electricity, only mosquitoes. It is just another one of those things that is making me wonder why do I live? I mean what is the point. I genuinely have no idea. I know if you “wait” things will get better. But why should I wait.
I want a guitar, I am trying to save up for it. But idk how long will it take. (If anyone wants a recommendation btw of some great song, try “odorouze” by yorushika, these days I am just listening to that on loop).
Anyway if I tell this to my parents I guess they will just say I am ungrateful; that I should be glad I have a roof over my head. I guess they are right. So many have it worse. I am ungrateful. But that doesn’t make life feel any worthwhile to me. It is just the same chore always. Go to school, college whatever. Do your responsibilities, please people, sleep, wake up repeat. Get sick sometimes for a change, and of course countless daily annoyances. From the bathroom lock getting stuck to your phone running out of charge midway, or your earphones when you need them the most.
It is not like I do not try to “live life” as others say. But everything requires money. What if you do not have unlimited of it? Then you have nothing. I guess coz I am a young student and I do not have any “family” for which people go through worse shit than me. I have parents and an elder brother. My brother already earns very well. I am not sure what any of this has to do with me.
I have also tried making friends. But what do I do with friends? Most of them hang out on instagram and shit like that anyway. Stuff I do not want to use. Even if I do make friends what do u do with friends? You just joke around with them or get a cup of tea.
People also sometimes to say to believe in god. I am not against that but I do not get god. How can I get anything anyway that is outside my own comprehension. Outside the laws of the universe, my brain cant visualize it. And I do not think the man in a sky god can be real.
“Life is like a machine gun, thats all I want to say. Sing it with refrain, hey, all at once from the throat”
When I try to think of my reason for living. It is just because I am alive. What else should I do? Do nothing? I have done that too when I was depressed for a year. It is not really much of a choice. Does anyone else relate?
I wish I was good at music and could make a song out of my feelings that is not delusional pop. But my parents think music is a distraction and bad, and I remember asking my teachers multiple times when I was in school. Once when I was 10years old. Once when I was 16. But they pushed me away because the rich charismatic kids get all. I was shy and I couldn’t even introduce myself. Maybe I am a pushover. Yeah I was. I am better now however. I just do not ask anyone for favors anymore. And after that sentence my earphones ran out of charge. I do not have the motivation to write in silence.
it’s all about the brain chemicals
I know this might sound like just another “just keep waiting”, but my life improved 1000% once I finished school and moved out. The oppression from an impartial school system, and living in a space where I’m not in charge of my own life, was fucking torture. I think you’ll enjoy freedom and the ability to make decisions and be responsible for yourself.
Anything rewarding takes effort.
People also sometimes to say to believe in god. I am not against that but I do not get god. How can I get anything anyway that is outside my own comprehension. Outside the laws of the universe, my brain cant visualize it. And I do not think the man in a sky god can be real.
I think that if you wish to pursue this, you are on the right path. There is no dude floating in the sky. You can’t visualise Him, religion is something you experience.
Even if I do make friends what do u do with friends? You just joke around with them or get a cup of tea.
Play together. Music, games. whatever you fancy. Travel, explore new places. Experience new sights, tastes and smells.
What else should I do?
Explore! Try new things! Every now and then there are questions about cheap or free hobbies to do. You could ask again or search for previous threads.
I wish I was good at music
You can’t be good without first being bad. If you are better than AI then that’s enough. And you are better than AI because you are human.
Music recommendation: Giorgio by Moroder
Congratulations! Through introspection you have discovered the meaning of life! …or the lack of it, that is. This soul-crushing realization has lead many people to many different coping mechanisms(drug abuse, overeating, religion, suicide, hyperobsession over something, etc.).
So, what now? That is for you to decide, I can only share my experience in hope that something might resonate, but it is ultimately up to you. Adults in your life are not that much different from you, they do have more life experience and much of it is valuable, but perhaps not fully applicable to you specifically. This is true for everyone, in varying degrees.
Yes, there is no meaning to life, which means it is up to you to define what success/failure looks like for you. And you can’t know ahead of time what that is, you have to try things and discover. For some people what they want to do in life also shifts over time.
Yes, there is no reason to live, but there is also no reason NOT to live. The world is completely indifferent to your existance. Whatever choice you make, it doesn’t matter. Your achievements don’t matter, but also your failures don’t matter either. Nothing does, unless YOU think it matters. Freedom is both liberating and oppressing.
Happiness/unhappiness is determined purely by your perception, and not by situations you find yourself in. For example, imagine yourself in a cafeteria, eating shitty food. If you were a student it might make you feel unhappy since the food is shitty, if you were a homeless person this might be your one meal you don’t have to dumpster dive for. Same exact situation, two different people, two different experiences. Sure, it’s not as simple as deciding to suddenly be happy, but you do have a surprising amount of control over it.
There is dark and light in the world, whichever you focus more on, you will perceive more of. And yes, that is easier said than done.
Envision what you want. What you truly want. Work on getting there. It takes time and effort. Money isn’t a solution, because you won’t value it. It may be a step in the process, but if you’re not willing to take the steps it won’t change your feelings.
Life is a sandbox game but too many people are thinking that there’s a storyline you’re supposed to follow but you’re not - you can live it the way you like.
We compare our insides to other people’s outsides and wonder why we’re not happy despite following the same script. Well, I don’t think the people you’re modeling your life after are happy either so you’re getting exactly what they’re getting as well - you just were expecting something else.
Be weird, be eccentric, do what other people aren’t doing, embarrass yourself, be honest and vulnerable, trust your intuition, don’t follow the norms, say what feels scary, disregard reputation management and so on. These are among the things I consider intentional living to entail.
You can have anything you want - you just can’t have everything you want.
The only universal purpose of life is to reproduce. That’s true of all life.
When I try to think of my reason for living. It is just because I am alive.
I’m coming up on my 61st orbit around the sun. The reason for living is to live. There’s no such thing as a wasted life as long as it’s lived. Time will pass, you’ll grow old if you’re lucky, and then you’ll die. That will happen, no matter what else does, or doesn’t. Wherever you go, there you are, you can’t run away from yourself. You always take yourself with you. That can sound like a burden, but think of it the other way--you can’t lose yourself, either, take comfort in that. You’ll always be with you. You’re the only one who sees your entire life from start to finish, everyone else is just passing through. So, live your life for you, first.
You’re going to be okay.
The only universal purpose of life is to reproduce. That’s true of all life.
According to science, which disregards spiritual beliefs and traditions. Hence life feels very empty and meaningless if you believe only in science.
It can for some people. I promise you I don’t feel empty or meaningless without any belief in the supernatural.
Spirituality is just a lens for looking at the world. A kind of grubby, smudgy lens, but the point is, like art it can unlock some wisdom inside us without words, and when we try to put it into words or find “truth” in it we must always fail, but generosity, helping one another out, appreciating what we have, accepting what we lack, those are valuable lessons that are easier to understand through spirituality than deriving them from first principles.
We are all connected and lifting my neighbor lifts me even if on the surface he has more and I have less. Spreading kindness is worth doing and makes you a better person and the world a better place, even if you don’t see any rewards. Spirituality is just a way to communicate that feeling — and largely fear of nonexistence — a way to share truths that are hard to explain. Also in the form of religion, it appeals to those who seek authority for how they chose to live.
So if people use spirituality to communicate those truths and understand how to live a meaningful life, great. Those who use it to justify hatred have learned the wrong fucking lessons because they focus on finding (creating) truth in the words, not on the truths about how to be good people.
Or you can do it all without spirituality. It’s harder, but doesn’t come packaged up with misleading reasoning.
It’s not even really true according to science. That’s an idea popularized by Richard Dawkins book the selfish gene, which is really just pop science. Dawkins was a great science communicator, but his actual research in evolutionary biology is lacking, his degree is in zoology after all.
His work in evolutionary biology is often criticized by experts in the field as reductionist, as there are plenty examples of phenomena that directly rebut his overall thesis. By focusing solely on individual selection he fails to explain something as simple and universal as same-sex sexuality in nature.
Scientists generally attribute the same-sex sexuality in nature as an act of group selection, explaining that it is often beneficial for a group of animals to be able to have members who can contribute resources to the group without straining it with reproduction of their own.
I feel like a lot of these TV scientists are not very credible. There is never any debate and people just get told one side of the story.
Yeah, they are usually very good communicators and media savvy. Which is still very important for the field of science, but they’re rarely an authority in their own fields of study.
Things don’t automatically get better in life. You have to work to improve them. You can be grateful for the things in your life and still pursue the things that fulfill you. But if you’re just going through the motions without having something you’re working toward, you’re never going to stop going through the motions.
Living takes money, as you say, but the things worth doing don’t always have a cost. When I was young I could have a great day counting trees and swimming in lakes. I could wander the neighborhood. I could ride a bike — not to anywhere, just ride it. You can draw, paint, play guitar, sing, write, read. Christ, I have money and I look around and just see I’ve pissed it away on stupid consumer bullshit that doesn’t make me happy at all, and takes more effort ultimately that the old cheap ways. I have a stupid $1500 robot vacuum that constantly gets jammed up or needs new rollers or censors or to be emptied, to be filled… fuck it’d be easier to just use a broom and mop.
Even if I do make friends what do u do with friends? You just joke around with them or get a cup of tea.
Is that so bad? I miss having friends. I love my wife and kids and my extending family but I miss just fucking around with friends most weekends.
How can I get anything anyway that is outside my own comprehension.
It’s a bunch of bullshit, but some folks thrive on having something like religion to focus their life around. Just don’t go thinking it makes you or anyone special to be religious. But when it is focused on moving forward and being selfless, it can offer people a path to bettering themselves. Like, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s terrible and do not recommend religion, but some folks find it fulfilling is all.
When I try to think of my reason for living
If someone told you your reason for being alive, what would you do with that? Resent it because it’s not what you would choose? Embrace the path you never had a say in? Would you consider yourself a failure if you didn’t achieve it? Would you consider yourself worthy and righteous if you did?
You get to choose what your calling is. You get to define success. You get to change your mind. No one is going to tell you why you are here (well they might in religion, but they are wrong). You steer your life in the direction of things you think are important.
wish I was good at music and could make a song out of my feelings
Wishing will never make you good at anything. On the other hand, no one can stop you from worrying a song, a poem, a verse that holds meaning for you.
rich charismatic kids get all
Always has been so. So what? You aren’t them and you’ll find gifts you’ve been given that they never were.
If none of it makes sense now, someday it will. But that doesn’t mean wait. It means get out there and keep doing with a goal in mind. Big or small. It’s best to start small. And see what you can do.
Anyhow, good luck.
Things don’t automatically get better in life.
They can get automatically worse though.
Just wait! Life actually gets worse!!!
I am making a joke but at the same time, I’m 52. I squeaked through the 70’s and 80’s with an alcoholic father who liked to beat up my mother and I. Once I turned 16, I left home. Mom committed suicide after I left.
Ended up doing some college, then computer programming after a stint in the Air Force. Spent my 20’s pretty much dizzy as hell, I loved girls and pool and darts and bars. Spent my 30’s teaching English in Asia. Had some fun and dangerous times over there, always research your destination country well before you commit to a job abroad.
I lost my passport in Cambodia, was finally medically evacuated from Cambodia via the US Embassy (I’m 5’9" and weighed 110 lbs, not good!) and was dropped off in L.A. in the middle of December with no money, no ID, and nowhere to go. I had just turned 40.
I spent the majority of my 40’s hitchhiking the USA. California to Florida and back twice, then up to Monatana, Idaho, back down through Nevada and Utah twice, then AZ back to FL and finally started hanging out near the places I liked. Eventually that became Houston in the winter and Denver CO or Bozeman MT for summer. I got into house-sitting, I don’t hitchhike anymore. I have clients primarily in Denver and Houston and friends all over.
Now I’m 52. Recently diagnosed with spinal stenosis, CES, PTSD and other health issues. It went by fast, although I would have said life moved at a snail’s pace when I was a teenager.
You will have to find the motivation to survive whether there’s music or not, that’s a fact. Life does not come guaranteed with good tunes, although we’ll both probably agree it should. Some people tell me I lived the wrong life. Others tell me it’s interesting. And some of the drivers that picked me up while hitchhiking – have told me it was beautiful.
Some rich people are bad. Some are good. Some poor people suck. Others are not. Take everyone at face value. Never lump them into groups. Never burn anyone, and never burn yourself. Watch your back. Hope my little rant helps. You have to find you. You have to decide where you’ll go. You have to choose what is important, and what isn’t.
And listen to this song regularly by Baz Luhrmann – “Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now”
I think your life was interesting. It is also my dream to go abroad anywhere, just out of where I have lived my life upto now. Having Freedom is the most valuable thing to me to just do whatever you want ig
It really is. But it also costs a lot.
I really wish I had the “ultimate algorithm” for everyone to find happiness. Not even joking. In my 52 years on this rock we call Earth, I still haven’t found my own “ultimate algorithm”. The rules change. The situation changes. People… Change.
My life never involved the white picket fence, nice house, beautiful wife, or kids. And the shit part is, when I was young – I thought that was the ultimate weighing scale of life. Get all that or die. No room for inbetween. You’re a failure if you don’t succeed, blah blah blah.
None of that is true.
I once hopped in a car with a guy from Phoenix who “had it all”. Nice house, his wife was trophy-level, he had 3 kids all going to college. Perfect life. Showed me photos of his house. Eight hours later he was yelling and screaming about how his two boys just smoke weed, his daughter only calls when she needs money, and his wife hasn’t laid him in six months. Perfect life, huh?
I’m not saying to pack your bags, I’m not saying go get a home loan. I’m saying your life will be a different trail. Maybe you get married, maybe you don’t. Maybe you end up rich, maybe you don’t. And I really HATE to coin a phrase, but it really is about the journey.
Prepare for that as best you can. If you’re in school, finish it. If you have a job, save.
What you don’t realize is that you’re already on your own trail. You just haven’t realized it yet.
FYI my life is STILL interesting! I ain’t dead yet!!!
We’re the same age, lived very different lives. I don’t think either of our lives has been better lived. Would definitely be good times to compare notes. Based on geography we’ll probably never get that chance but it’s interesting to me how we shared the same sort of conceptual space growing up and took our different paths. It’s interesting the things that drive our path through life aren’t what we think they are.
I was not raised by my biological mom. I never talked to her until I was 18. I met her and my siblings still years later, and my youngest brother was probably 15-20 years younger, but damn he reminded me so much of myself.
I never thought that much of my bio-mom after meeting her. But that little version of me grew up, got into drugs, got in trouble with the law, and is already dead. And it would’ve been so easy for him to just not do that. Or maybe had I grown up in that life, it would’ve seemed impossible to escape that path. I wonder what the inflection point was from that curious, kind, thoughtful kid to what he became. I wonder if there was ever a chance to help him escape it or if the seeds of his self-destruction were already planted.
I guess that’s why other paths from where I started fascinate me so much. Hope things go as well as they can in the health front. Good travels, friend!
Yeah it’s really hard to say “this life was better than that life”. What you measure and how you measure just doesn’t “measure up”. Some would say Elon Musk has the best life, he’s the richest guy on the planet, they’d like to be him, etc. Other’s think he’s the Anitichrist.
Sorry to hear about your brother. The older I get, the more I don’t think there’s ever any “seeds of self-destruction”. I’ve seen a lot of people go down the drug road. Some you’d never guess would ever even touch a drug. But once that dopamine and endorphins hit the reward center of their brain, that’s usually it. Human beings effectively become lab rats at that point. The behavior is identical. I (like most people) experimented in my 20’s, but it was never conducive to the life I wanted to live (seeing the world). I like to sleep, I like to keep my wits about me, so anything stronger than beer was just never a good time. I have also lost friends and loved ones to the stuff, it just leaves you wondering “why”? I think for some, the feeling or high is truly overpowering and it only takes one curious moment to expose yourself to that kind of risk.
But all of that is just one of a billion different paths to go in life. Some people go to MIT and end up working at the CERN. Others go into art or music. Some become contractors, some go into politics, some fly into space. Some have kids, others don’t, some even adopt. I’m always fascinated by the “how” in it all. What lead them to choose the things they chose? What surprises came along the way that they didn’t see coming? I find out more and more, most people didn’t “decide” to be where they are. They just ended up there, in part from life choices but equally in part circumstances. The mom of three really only planned to be a mom of one. The contractor had originally planned to be a musician. Thank you for your message!
Tl;Dr fully honestly.
But as Autist life is a absolute chore. And lately health got worse so more chores.
People tell us all the time how we should feel but it’s different.
Get. That. Guitar. Do whatever it legally takes. Buy used. It won’t solve all your problems, and you likely won’t make a career out of it, but it will help you greatly with much of what you are going through right now. I played an instrument when I was young, and stopped due to addiction. Now I am much older, and getting back into playing again. I wish I never put it down in the first place, but it feels amazing to play again.
But yeah, in general, life is a big chore. When I was younger, I avoided much of the “chore” stuff, and I have been reaping what I’ve sown ever since. I would have told my younger self, among other things, to think ahead, and to not put off hard work for tomorrow (advice I can still barely live by).
When I was younger, I avoided much of the “chore” stuff, and I have been reaping what I’ve sown ever since. I would have told my younger self, among other things, to think ahead, and to not put off hard work for tomorrow (advice I can still barely live by).
I don’t know anyone with a different story. I had plenty of people giving me advice I didn’t take just to learn they were right — I doubt I’d have listened to future-me either, but we all want to go back in time and wring our little necks for creating so much harder a road for present us :)
Keep playing, mate!
Things may not automatically get better, but with age comes perspective and perspective is everything. I am not of the opinion that life has some inherent purpose, life is ultimately what you make of it.
I came from a broken home that I ended up leaving when I was 16 after dropping out of highschool to work multiple jobs to make rent. It took me several rudderless years of minimum wage jobs before deciding I deserved better. I went and got my GED, my bachelor’s, and eventually finished grad school.
One thing I think people need to be content is to work at something that they can be proud of. For some lucky people that can also make them money, but I don’t think that’s a very important aspect. For me the initial thing that pulled me out of my misery was service to others. I like helping people, I like making people’s lives better in any way I can, I live to serve. I also love working with my hands, turning ideas and materials into something tangible and giving it purpose.
I was lucky enough to turn that into a career working in a field of healthcare where I get to help people by building things. I truly think that humans need to be busy, not necessarily working, but still being productive in some way. I say buy that guitar, screw what your parents think, they don’t have to live your life. It’s never too late to learn a skill and it’s easier to pick up the younger you are. I didn’t start taking piano lessons until my 30s, and it’s now one of my favorite pastimes.
Give yourself grace, be kind to yourself and others. You are young and the world is full of opportunities. Once youre older you will be envious of the time you have ahead of you, it goes by fast.
Sounds like life isn’t going to get easier for you in the respects you want. It will get a lot harder.
Eventually you will leave school and have to be more of a people pleaser, deal with more empty people that are fake as fuck, and eventually seem fake as fuck too because you hide who you are to be safe and keep your job.
And there’s a threat of homelessness if you fuck this up in any serious way.
Save up, get your guitar, realize that it doesn’t end up saving your life and making it great or more meaningful on its own magically, but only if you actually invest time and energy learning it. You might get a cheap guitar and think that, if only you had that $700 guitar or that amp or those pedals it might sound good. Nah, you just need to learn how to be good on your own. And it’ll be boring for a while, until it’s not that boring, but it isn’t going to give you dopamine like video games do. It will force you to work for that accomplishment.
It’s actually a pretty good goal imo because it will teach you what it sounds like you need to learn, how to invest your own time and energy into some aspect of life to get more out of life. It’s not going to be like Instagram or tv, won’t feed you dopamine for free. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. Life is just like that, except people get hooked into the easy shallow things like TV and video games, and don’t end up doing the most basic shit like creating.
You don’t have to wait for the guitar either. You can learn to do art for cheap. Watercolor can be super cheap. All these things will give life meaning.
For sure, much of life feels like a chore. You can enjoy it or not is what it boils down to much of the time.
I’ve tried to hold the idea of if it’s worth doing it’s worth doing well. And generally doing the best I can, especially if I fuck hate what I have to do. It makes looking back easier. And in some ways generates respect and then elevated me out of some shit to less shitty shit
