I’m 90% I’m about to be laid off from my job tomorrow and this is my first time being laid off and this was my first dev job. I’ve worked here for over 7 years which is a long time at a dev job I know.
I’m just wondering what I should do in the meeting, what should I ask for? I’m having a range of emotions from fear of losing my house and health insurance (thanks usa) to relief and hope that I’m going to find something better and more fulfilling.
Thanks for reading
Edit: it’s confirmed I am getting laid off. Thanks everyone for the advice and well wishes. It really helped and means a lot.
Hey OP. I’ve been there, I’m sorry if it happens. Top comments here already have great advice. Take notes, DOWNLOAD YOUR ANNUAL REVIEWS NOW, make sure you can log into all hr sites on your personal laptop, makes w2 easier and 401k.
Not a lot of people are talking emotionally though. If you’ve never been laid off and this is your first, I want to prep you that this is going to hit hard. You don’t think so now, but you’re about to have massive emotional swings.
The first will be intense numbness and lonliness as you lose access/walk out. You will feel incredibly alone as your world is shut out. I want you to know that you are not alone, there are those who care for you. Tell your significant other, friend, even your mom. Reach out, talk to people if you need to. Ask someone if they want to meet for lunch. Try not to be alone all day. It will level set you and they’ll help. You’ll feel like you’re lost, but knowing people are still there helps immensely.
Don’t try to figure out your life that day. You have a great tenure of 7 years. You are allowed to take a break! Obviously I don’t know your finances, but I would take a week if you can, or minimum 24 hours before starting to think about your next role. You may feel panicky, like you have to get started, that’s normal, but fight that urge. Any plan you make in that state is going to be garbage anyway and you’ll need to redo it. Don’t do your resume yet, don’t start applying, just do something you enjoy. Hobbies, games, family time. It will also help center you.
This is a traumatic experience. No its or buts about it, its a feeling that still haunts me a year later. I still have intrusive thoughts of was I good enough, am I a failure, why was it me? It’s something I deal with, and I hope that at least in those first few days my advice will keep you moving.
Feel for you friend, I’ve seen it
Thank you for addressing the emotional aspect so well. This is good stuff and was part of my saving grace, too.
I disliked the advice to simply “show no emotion” in the meeting because it’s not often that this is a lucid choice in the moment. So OP, if you did get choked up or visibly frustrated in the meeting, please be kind to yourself and know that that is completely normal and anyone who has fired individuals has seen a very wide range of reactions to the news. It’s grief, and while some can go through it shocked and numb or stoic-at-will, it’s more common for people to have an emotional response of one kind or another. Obviously, it’s good advice not to have a verbal outburst that can have consequences (like threats) or a physical response that causes destruction, but don’t feel like you should handle this like a robot or a neutral person above it all.
You are more than your job title and more than your work. Spend time with the people who know you and can affirm the beautiful parts of your identity that have nothing to do with an occupation. Give yourself a little time to grieve before you go at the logistics of it all, which others have given solid advice about (unemployment benefits, subscription cancelling, etc.). You are not alone, and you will find work again; best wishes to you.
I remember I was let go and I remember apologizing to them, like I did something wrong. I don’t know why I did but in that moment I was so caught off guard and shocked that it’s all I could say. Show no emotion is hard when they just collapsed your world around you