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this disgusting capitalistoc world . And the people who never want to do anything to change it.
My wife is anxious and the way that she’s described it is something like having a barrage of irrational worries one cannot feasibly think their way out of or compartmentalize (even if they know they’re completely irrational or the odds are extremely low).
Sometimes it’s like thoughts vomiting forth as words of self beratement and having to talk yourself down.
Sometimes it’s feeling like everyone is watching you in public even though you logically know they aren’t and don’t give two shits about you.
Sometimes it’s panic at the thought that you’ve really fucked up this time and it’s all coming apart
Sometimes it’s not wanting to be trouble for others and you weren’t ready and everyone will hate you for holding up a line and hang on let me fix this
Sometimes it’s how am I supposed to just talk to people and where is the bar get me a drink or two fast so I can do this.
Wearing a turtleneck or even just a shirt that is too tight around the neck.
I used to think that I was severely depressed. It took me a couple of decades to realize that I was depressed about the opportunities that my anxiety kept me from pursuing.
I have gotten a lot better at examining those opportunities and forgiving myself for those failures.
I would say that I am about 15% of the way there. I have a lot to unpack.
Hyperactivity in the mind
this. I never thought of myself as having anxiety but when I looked into depression im told I have general anxiety disorder. She tells me. You worry about everything. My first thought is. How does anyone not!? I sorta like shelter and eating! One thing I did always recognize is I think about things way more than other people. I never understood how people cannot be thinking about things constantly. Its what our brains do. It is the thing that is my achilles heel for trying to mediate.
Watching a horror movie except your the character. I have entire visceral anxities forcefully play in my head.
Also fearing something will happen even if you logically know it CANNOT happen
a panic , anxiety feeling in your chest. luckily it was only during that one semester that caused severe stress(non-chronic)
Constant worry and burning your energy on things you can’t do anything about to the point that you can’t do anything else and just deadlock
You ever get stage fright? Butterflies in your stomach? It feels like that. Sometimes stronger. Full blown panic attacks feel the same as a heart attack, including your left arm going numb: tightness and pain in the chest, trouble breathing, blurred vision, etc. That’s actually how I found out about my anxiety disorder. Had a panic attack; went to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack.
I think I have been close in the last two years. I physically can feel it but not to the point of a heart attack. body feeling wierd. kinda numb. kinda hurty. breathing messing up. honestly for a very long time I have done a lot of things to deal with earlier levels of this kind of stuff. walks. intentional breathing. visualization. Its only in the last two years it has kinda stopped working very well.
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What if what if what if what if what if
Just constantly in my head
Its the feeling of “cautious”. Not quite scared, but aware of your situation.
Imagine playing a game where you get to a small room right before a giant arena. But the health packs, ammo, and save point are missing. You’re low on health, you can count your remaining ammo on one hand, and it’s been hours since your last save. The music swells and the boss starts to emerge as the screen fades to white….
That exact moment, but about everything all the time.
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