Ladies, Gentlemen, Esteemed Peers. (if you want to be serious)

Ladies, Gentlemen, and you special assholes (if you’re in a group of close friends and trying to be funny).

source: I am non-binary.

Edit: David Bowie’s answer to this question.

Salutations, meatbags!

Theydies and gentlethems

Friends, Romans, countrymen!

Reduce to one word: “Folks.”

Comrades, folks, fellow apes

Honored motherfuckers

Here are some fun greetings. Not all of these include every person:

• “Guys, gals, and non-binary pals”
• “Girls, gays, and theys”
• “Friends, Romans, countrymen”
• “Ladies, gents, violents, and the rest of you”
• “Ladies”, followed by a pointed stare to the men in the room for at least five seconds
• “All miscreants gathered here”

Some that work generally:

• “Distinguished guests”
• “Esteemed guests”
• “Folks/people”
• “You all/all of you/y’all”
• “Good people/folk here today/tonight”
• “Everyone/everybody gathered here today/tonight”

Ladies, Gentleman, and avid pronoun collectors.

I think the best greeting for this is just “everyone”

it’s how the announcements on my trains changed over time, starting from addressing “ladies and gentlemen” to “hello everyone”

“Howdy y’all!” is a complete sentence.

Greetings programs.

“Hello, everyone!”

Et cetera is fairly professional, although some might consider it mildly dismissive

Heathens if you’re going for a more fun tone.

Some of my favorites:

Esteemed bastards

Sup sluts

Ladies and gentlethems

Hello everyone

Guys gals and nonbinary creatures