Also wtf is the “Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after” trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.

Not to invalidate any experiences you or anyone else may have gone through, but this can get complicated in some situations. For instance, much of what my mom did to me as a kid would be considered emotionally/physically abusive. At the time, I definitely hated her for it. But as we’ve both grown and changed over time, I’ve learned that she had a lot of her own problems and was dealing with abuse in her life, as well. She took it out on me, and while it’s obviously unacceptable, I don’t still hate her today like I did then.

I don’t forgive the abuse she put me through, but I understand why she did it. She couldn’t break the cycle, and I can’t hold that against her; it’s fucking tough to get out of an abusive feedback loop like that. But she eventually did, and she’s a much better person now than she was then, and we’re on much better terms now. For what it’s worth, I’m also aware that my acceptance of this may also be a symptom of abuse. Again, it’s complicated.

Obviously, not everybody’s situation has a positive turn like mine did. I’m lucky enough that my mom knew what she was doing was wrong, and was able to change her ways. Some people aren’t as fortunate.