My mother is literally worse than my father, but of course movies and tv shows love their cliches and never show reality for what it is.
Also wtf is the “Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after” trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.
I hate writer jesus christ ffs.
Edit: typo
Also wtf is the “Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after” trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.
Not to invalidate any experiences you or anyone else may have gone through, but this can get complicated in some situations. For instance, much of what my mom did to me as a kid would be considered emotionally/physically abusive. At the time, I definitely hated her for it. But as we’ve both grown and changed over time, I’ve learned that she had a lot of her own problems and was dealing with abuse in her life, as well. She took it out on me, and while it’s obviously unacceptable, I don’t still hate her today like I did then.
I don’t forgive the abuse she put me through, but I understand why she did it. She couldn’t break the cycle, and I can’t hold that against her; it’s fucking tough to get out of an abusive feedback loop like that. But she eventually did, and she’s a much better person now than she was then, and we’re on much better terms now. For what it’s worth, I’m also aware that my acceptance of this may also be a symptom of abuse. Again, it’s complicated.
Obviously, not everybody’s situation has a positive turn like mine did. I’m lucky enough that my mom knew what she was doing was wrong, and was able to change her ways. Some people aren’t as fortunate.
I think the sexual stereotypes are is that men hit And women tend to abuse through mental anguish.
Mental anguish is harder to portray on a screen than someone beating the fuck out of you.
This little theory, I’ve said you know ignores the fact that neglect is the most common type of abuse.
The four types of abuse are physical, sexual, mental and neglect. The vast majority of abuse that happens to children is neglect. It’s been a long time since I looked at the numbers, but I’m pretty sure that physical is The least common type of abuse
Mental anguish is harder to portray on a screen than someone beating the fuck out of you.
And when it is portrayed, it’s not as easy to notice. If Everybody Loves Raymond’s Dad started punching his daughter in law everybody would call that abuse, but there are still some people who don’t realize how abusive Ray’s mom actually was.
Absolutely!
It is represented in media, see the film Mommy Dearest. Even in the Wizard of Oz the woman is the abuser. The series The Terror streaming now, woman the abuser. Fatal Attraction, Cruella, Misery, Carrie, etc.
Tangled
Big Fish
The Terror? I must be forgetting something because there are barely any women in that show at all as far as I recall.
Check the 2nd season
I guess I might have to go back and rewatch it.
Ok. You named a handful of examples. I’m sure there’s a handfull more.
But I could literally reach the character limit if I attempted to show all the examples of men in media being the abuser.
So you aren’t wrong per se. But you are still missing the point.
OP said “always” and “never.” So I’m not really sure what the purpose of this discussion is beyond refuting those superlatives. Is the idea that there needs to be more physically abusive women in fiction? Or fewer men? What is the ideal?
As others have pointed out, your premise is incorrect. Women are often portrayed as abusers, just not usually through physical abuse (much like real life).
Not really answering the question but if you’re looking for movies with an abusive mom, there are more than a few! (especially horror.) Off the top of my head:
Carrie is the classic, hereditary is a new classic. Braindead (dead alive) is a classic splatter horror.
Non horror: I Tonya, black swan, Mommie Dearest, Precious, Beau is afraid, Wild at Heart and maybe 8 mile?
Edit: My God, I’m forgetting/blocking one of the darkest movies I’ve seen in awhile, Bring Her Back.
Isn’t 8 mile just basically the story of Eminem? If so, yeah, that’s an abusive mom.
Unsure, haven’t uhhh, actually seen the movie. But was more going off what I vaguely remember from the trailers etc.
We Need to Talk About Kevin comes to mind.
You hit some of the first that came to mind. I’d also include Terms of Endearment, I’ll Cry Tomorrow, Postcards From the Edge… do Snow White and Cinderella count?
Yeah, I think the underlying message in a lot of disney is you’re better off with a dead mom than a live one.
Carrie reminded me of Misery. She’s not his mom, but she’s definitely abusive.
Never heard of Mommy Dearest?
Not till now
Watch Carrie
If you really want to see fucked up, watch Sybil
FWIW, in fairy tales the mother is the bad parent more often than not.
Along with all the other examples listed here:
The Bear
Also wtf is the “Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after” trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.
No, but depending on circumstances and the work the abuser is willing to put into changing themself and making things as right as they can, forgiveness can be earned.
Have you ever heard of Marisa Coulter from His Dark Materials? Just to add to all the other examples people have given
A few examples that came to mind that others didn’t list:
Psycho and its reboot or whatever. Possibly THE example.
Mindhunter definitely touches on abusive mothers.
And I don’t want to spoil it, but dear God watch The Bear and prepare to be fucking broken.
Sopranos, she literally tries to kill him.
Both of my parents were abusive in their own special way.
Boy, you’ve obviously never seen Precious (2009)
I wouldn’t say never and when they are people have harder time noticing because it requires pretty high emotional intelligence to understand that shit ain’t right.
Woman’s abuse just looks different. It is verbal and behavioral generally speaking. Woman can say something to the child and nobody in the room will notice. The kid sure knew what’s up tho.
