- Most outrageous / unbelievable lies
- Most offensive / dangerous lies
- Most “adult meant it as genuine advice but it’s laughably out of touch” lies
- Lies you wish you still believed
- Lies you took as truth and didn’t question it until you were way too old
“I will love you no matter what”
That changed real fuckin fast when i came out as trans
Sorry that happened, mate. One of our older kids is gay. Our 16 year old is non-binary. I don’t give a shit as long as they are able to thrive without assholes standing in their way. They are always welcome in my home along with any partners they find happiness with. I’m sorry I can’t be that for every child who lost the people who were supposed to have their back no matter what.
Yea same here, my mother told me that she will never be able to come to terms with my #decision
Ironic, since these parents are choosing to be terrible people filled with hate.
Big hugs friend …
Just an apropos of nothing …
I’ve had two friends tell me how they’re sick of this woke shit. I said, I hear more whining about woke shit than any woke shit so you’re gonna have to be specific. He said, “Chris’ kid thinks he’s trans now, like he’s too young what the fuck is that?”
I was like, “I’ve never met Chris’ kid and it seems you think they’re doing it for attention but what if they are <trans>…?”
It’s like … trans people got their own shit that they’re going through and some of my friends act like it’s their problem somehow.
The claims of “doing it for attention” are so silly to me. I can think of so many easier ways to get attention
Also, like… so what if they are? Maybe it really is “just a phase” or whatever the fuck else someone wants to dismissively ascribe any behavior to.
Does that really mean the kid is any less deserving of the attention, connection, and understanding ear they are clearly crying out for? Is ignoring, shunning, or otherwise socially punishing them really the best way to address it?
Like you said, there are much easier ways to get attention. If someone is willing to claim to be trans just for the attention, then they are in serious need of a better support structure in their lives. Giving them shit for it isn’t going to help anything.
Now that I think about it, this is surely almost always a lie? I doubt many people will keep loving someone once they find out they’re a serial killer, pedophile, or worse, a conservative.
Disapproving of someone’s choices and actions doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. In fact that’s why it hurts more when someone you love does something truly heinous. It’s often hard to just suddenly let go when it’s your child, sibling, etc.
serial killer, pedophile, or worse, a conservative.
We can still love each and every one of them, and tell them so during visiting hours. Especially the conservative, as I suspect they quickly become some bubba’s bitch.
Right up there with “you can ask us anything”. Well they certainly didn’t expect neurodiverse questions there.
But to be fair the statement also doesn’t include that there have to be good answers.
🫂
Getting rid of toxic people is first step towards a happier life. You’ll sooner or later find like minded people.
I was always careful never to tell my child I would love them no matter what.
If they came out as trans (or any lbgt+) I would still love them.
If they became a maniac killer I wouldn’t.
I’d still love my kid if they became a maniac killer. I would feel so guilty as the parent. I would dedicate my life to anonymously making the victims’ lives better. I wouldnt protect the kid from legal justice. I would turn them in myself the moment I knew. But I would still love them. Because if I don’t love my kid as a maniac killer, who would? I’m not saying it would be easy.
I love my kid unconditionally. At least I believe I do. I can say lots of things.
🫂
I hope you’ve got people who love you for you in your life, now.
So sorry the love they had for you was conditional :(
I still have to have that conversation with my parents. It’s nerve-wracking!! I need to just rip that bandaid off and be done with it.
At least my father never made that promise. But yeah it’s amazing how many parents have such a ridiculous condition on their love
I was little and going through that “ask an unending stream of questions to figure out how the world works / determine the limits of your parent’s patience” phase. At one point during this my mother, who had up until this point used this as an opportunity to teach me how to research things and overall handled it with grace, began to hit her limit. And so one fine morning when I had perkily jammed myself underneath the toilet in a way that startled the living daylights out of her when she came in and I asked how toilets worked, she said in great exasperation “toilet gnomes, and you shouldn’t be down there bothering them”. This of course made perfect sense to me - someone had to crew the little boat, and humans would never fit in there.
I maintain to this day that it was an act of class solidarity that I shouldn’t be mocked for when, several days later, she found me pooping in the yard because I “didn’t want the gnomes to work too hard”.
Garden gnomes: “The fuck is this shit?”
“The fuck? Is this shit?” FTFY
“The fuck, is this shit?”
“The fuck is this, shit?”
“The, fuck is this, shit?” - Christopher Walken Gnome
The, fuck, is, this, shit? -William SHATner Gnome
Fuck; shit, this is. – Yoda Gnome
“The fuck.”
[smile]
“Is this shit.”
- Katie Zacharia Gnome
Hard work will always lead to success, which is why anyone can be president.
Some really solid teachers in high school were able to cover why that was bullshit just by proper framing of the material.
- Hard work
- Luck
- Generational Wealth
Pick 2 for success.
I’m starting to believe some level of sociopathy is also required
At the highest levels, absolutely. But thats also one in a million of those who are successful
only if you want to be a CEO in a major corporation. plenty of successful people who aren’t sociopaths, but they typically aren’t ceo/business/sales types.
It feels more like an either the top two or the bottom one, more than pick two
Nah, generational wealth can still be squandered if handled irresponsibly.
You can still lose a race with a head start if you start running in the wrong direction.
True, but you don’t need to work hard to collect 10% interest annually
You’ll be surprised how dumb people can be
With liberty and and justice for all.
Well maybe liberty should get rid of the fur ball mascot
Insert video of Limu Emu violently disemboweling Biberty
Trade schools are for those who couldn’t make it into college.
I would have absolutely gone into welding if I had been told the honest truth about what the trades can earn.
Better live in a country where welders qualify for early retirement then, as the welders I’ve known have all developed issues with their eyesight, often starting in their late 20s or early 30s. Yes there’s a mask and every professional welder uses it because they know just how quickly they’d fuck up their eyes otherwise, but even then you’re still staring at a spark for a significant portion of your workday.
Health-wise, it’s one of the worse trades to get into because of that. Financially, of course… that’s probably part of why it pays so well.
Weirdly nurses too we’re super high risk for musculoskletal injuries that can really add up over the years. Even if you use 100% prefect lift mechanics every time you logroll or transfer a patient, or help them stand up, the patient often doesn’t know proper lift mechanics and will do wild shit like use the back of your neck as a grab handle. Even in psych where our patients are mostly ambulatory it can be even worse because my patients are more likely to intend to injure me.
A lot of welding also releases some really nasty fumes. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fumes are also a contributor to eye issues, not to mention Welder’s lung being named after the profession
Similar story - binmen. Teachers warning you that’ll be you if you dont try hard and get good grades.
Id fucking love to be a binman, way better hours, pay and perks than any other job ive ever worked.
In Germany we have the following system:
- Lehrling (Apprentice. Just learning)
- Geselle (Done with learning. But still fresh. Done after 3 years)
- Meister (Can be considered as a bachelor. Authorized to employ Gesellen and may instruct Lehrlinge until the finals)
And Meister can make bank in the current climate.
Remember who connects your toilet or your lamps legally and what you can do without either.I read that as “connect your toilet to your lamps” and I thought, ah, yes, a Home Assistant user.
and it’s entirely possible you would have washed out as a traders person and never earned that.
very few people make bank in the trades, most make a OK living, but trades have massive drawbacks too.
this whole ‘we need people in the trades, it pays so well’ is a lot of bullshit, just like ‘everyone has to learn to code’
all it mean is they want more competition in the field to drive wages down.
I’ve noticed that when people talk about not needing a college degree, they always mention welding. I’ve personally never met a welder, but it seems they’re the gold standard of blue collar work. Why is that?
I’ve been a welder. It’s a big field with lots of variety. It all mostly sucks. Super hard on the body. Lots of bad fumes and dust.
If you’re actually looking to get into it, learn to weld pipe. Best pay and job opportunities.
Lots of bad fumes and dust.
Can’t recall where I saw it, but I have run across a welding helmet that doubled as a respirator for exactly those conditions. Looked kinda like a full-face respirator only with a permanent clear plastic front and a welding mask that was in front of that and could be flipped up. Capable of working with beards, positive-pressure so no shroud needed over the nose and mouth that would otherwise muffle the voice.
Now granted: stupidly expensive. But the filter was on the helmet, not on the back or the waist (no hoses to get in the way). And it had a normal power-tool battery slot with adapters for the common ones like Milwaukee or Bosch.
The best set up I came across was a pump that mounted on your waist, it pumped in filtered air and kept a positive pressure under the mask. I snaked the tube up under my leathers between my shoulders. Wasn’t too cumbersome.
I’ve seen the one you’re talking about. I thought it was too much weight to be carrying on my neck all day.
But unless you’re prepared to go full hazmat you’re getting exposed to foul air.
Because the argument is bullshit, and most tradespeople are going to struggle, but that doesn’t let people romanticize the past and divide the present.
And it’s hard on the body and the culture is super toxic just like the materials and environments you may be subjected to.
Welding is like sewing. Any old mug can darn a sock… but to repair a historically important high quality silk sock to such a high standard that the repair is invisible to the naked eye takes an elite level of crafts(wo)manship that very few would ever attain. Not a perfect analogy but close enough…
I understand that welding takes skill. But I’m more wondering why I’ve personally talked to several parents/grandparents with kids about to graduate highschool with poor grades - and nearly everyone of those people has said that college isn’t the right choice for their kid, so they’re going to go into the trades and become a welder.
So far, none of the kids I’m referring to have actually become a welder. Are those family members saying their kid is going to become a welder because of the skill involved at the highest level of the craft? Is welding the blue collar equivalent of becoming an artist?
My childhood friend became a welder. But my suspicion is that it’s a skilled trade that doesn’t sound gross (plumbing) or super dangerous (electrician). Everyone knows we need welders, they understand what they do too. All this makes it the perfect thing to assume your kid is going to do when they decide not to go to college. Actually going to trade school and apprenticing on the other hand…
Yeah, I think not sounding gross or dangerous is part of it - combined with the skill level. Personally, my in-laws encouraged my nephew not to go to college, but instead to become a welder - or an electrician as a backup plan.
He did neither and now works for the city cleaning sewers. It’s a needed job and pays ok, but no one ever says “you don’t need to go to college, you can clean a sewer.” It’s always “you can be a welder.”
I think it might just be a combination of “clean” employment, decent pay, but perhaps most importantly the professional welders I knew were all single and spent months away at a time on jobs. I guess if your outgoings are practically zero then your wage is comparatively that much larger.
The only reason I mentioned welding, is I did some welding and plasma cutting in college and actually enjoyed it. I would have gone into the specialty welding like pipe or something like that for the higher wages.
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“When you grow up, you can be anything you want to be.”
I wanna be a homeowner.
To be fair, “grown up” could be 19 or 95 :) so keep trying!
This is really about managing expectations. Have you tried the barbie dream house?
You could, maybe not where you currently live but there are houses around that are super cheap. Or buy a lot and a tent
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/53184-Pine-View-Dr-Springville-CA-93265/300064524_zpid/
Water and electricity plus a septic tank
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older.”
I have consistently grown more and more leftist as I’ve grown older. Rent goes up faster than taxes. [redacted] your landlord.
Heard this one a lot, guess they figured everyone would go the fuck you got mine attitude of the boomers, not realizing that you can’t onboard the youth while maintaining full unmasked racism and marginalizing the value of the same youths perspectives. Another one is “you’ll understand when you’re older” which to the surprise of no one thing he “when you’re older” part never matures in discussions with these types.
Rent goes up faster than taxes.
And isn’t it fun when rent goes up even when the mortgage does not? And especially when the mortgage is fully paid off?
I was also told that about conservatism. Actually understanding conservatism and capitalism - and how fascism is essentially the corporate state - has bodily yeeted me so far left that I’m two shakes away from being an anachro-communist.
Is this “Conservative” as in the political affiliation though, or “moderate/cautious”? I think one thing is that current “Conservatives” are anything but
Conservstive as in “back then everything was better, we should get back to that”
“Conservative” as in hating taxes and loving capitalism
“[redacted] your landlord.” Hey, some people manage to pay their rent this way
I heard this one too. Maybe it used to be more true than now?
Science has shown that how easily you become wealthy determines how likely you are to shift conservative.
Boomers - in America and Canada, at least - grew up into adulthood during the most expansive period of the middle class in human history. There has never before been a time where someone with an 8th grade education could find high-paying employment and become moderately wealthy off of it with just a few basic financial techniques. It really was stupidly easy to live a comfortable middle-class life. Show salesmen and VCR salesmen could do this without any serious financial stresses.
So yeah. While some resisted the shift right, many did not. They climbed the ladder, and upon reaching the top they pulled the ladder up after themselves and told the younger generations, “fuck you, I’ve got mine”.
It’s probably true on average. As you get older, chances are some of the things you fought for when you were younger are now the new normal, and further change is something you’re more skeptical about.
But definitely not something that’s going to apply to every individual, plus when the world is mostly regressing as it is right now, the whole effect should disappear.
You and me both. Plus I suffered a horrendous enough TBI that I should anecdotally love Trump and his diet nazis.
Fuck that noise. Mutual aid and DSA getting a seriously foothold in American politics is a good first step.
Yeah my beliefs have grown more nuanced as I left my early-mid 20s, but it’s a pretty far left form of nuanced. Meanwhile as a teenager I was downright centrist on a lot of issues and conservative as often as I was liberal/left. I didn’t stop believing in capitalism until college
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there is a god
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race is a biological reality
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men and women are fundamentally different
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Just world theory
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America is a force for good in the world
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The Enlightenment makes Western culture superior
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The post-war boom where a single income could buy a hose/ car/ and college was a universal reality and not exclusive to white men.
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Guns make you safe.
guns make you safe
my ex tried to kill herself with pills, i think if we had a gun she would have succeeded. i think every person i have known to die of gun wounds were self inflicted
i think every person i have known to die of gun wounds were self inflicted
I’m worried you know enough people to make a statistically significant conclusion.
Prior art confirms: overwhelmingly, the gun you are shot with will be your own. Next is one weilded by someone well-known to you.
i didn’t claim to give statistically significant conclusion, my statement was clearly anecdotal, so you can take it as such without being misleading
They were agreeing with you.
- men and women are fundamentally different
They are tho?
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- It’s illegal to turn the interior light on in the car while driving.
- If you make that face, it’ll stay like that.
- Sitting too close to the TV will give you square eyes
- If you lie, you get spots on your tongue (would then ask to show you your tongue when they asked you if you telling the truth)
- The Square box in that corner (the maximize window button on a PC) is a camera and we can watch what you do.
If you lie, you get spots on your tongue
Oh lmao the spots on your tongue thing is ancient. Transient lingual papillitis, also called “lie bumps”. Ton of cultures share the myth that you get them from lying - we don’t know what causes them (and fuck do they hurt) and they’re rarely talked about, so it’s always weird to run into that in the wild; it seems so absurd you’d never expect it to be as widespread as it is.
You have strange parents. Square eyes? Spots on your tongue? Bizarre.
Not all parents. Some were teachers (the Spots on tongue and the Maximise window)
If you make that face, it’ll stay like that.
I was told this as well, so I’d try to look as sad, afraid and angry as possible. I’d contort my face for hours, trying to push the corners of my mouth down till it hurt. I wanted it to stay like that, so when I went to school the next day somebody would ask me what’s wrong and I could tell them about my father beating the shit out of me every day. Unfortunately, it did not stay and nobody asked.
If the wind changes you’ll stay like that
Please don’t hurt me but it is literally illegal to do that in my province, and I am aware of many other places where it’s illegal. I hope this brings you some comfort
My health class was taught by our gym teacher and she was terrible at it. Some points I remembered being taught:
- Hypertension is when the hamstrings of your legs shrink because you don’t stretch every morning. Hypertension can kill you, so make sure you stretch.
- All drugs make you hallucinate. Every single one of them. Usually dragons. People die on drugs because they’re trying to get away from the dragons and jump off buildings or run into traffic.
- Babies have super suction power which they use to breastfeed. An adult cannot get milk from a breast because they can’t suck hard enough.
I learned these were wrong after starting secondary school where biology was taught by someone who studied biology. Except for the breastfeeding thing. That one was through personal research.
Except for the breastfeeding thing. That one was through personal research.
ಠ_ಠ
I still remembered how very surprised I was when I learned that breast can produce milk without the woman beeing/having been pregnant or taking Hormones. Legit it’s my anatomy, how did I learn that basic stuff in some kink context instead of anywhere else. I mean I don’t know a practical use of that knowledge outside of that either, but it did fundamentally change how I understand breast/hormones/the body.
I thought people usually chased the dragon, rather than running away.
That’s what happens when you do drugs, you end up chasing a dragon, which ends up much worse than running from one.
- Gym teacher, probably
That’s what they meant about being a lie
My parents told me they put our cat up for adoption (it was a feral cat that only liked me) after I left home for university. My brother later accidentally let it slip they had the cat put down. I’ve never really forgiven them for that.
I never would.
I would be devastated. I’m so sorry…
my father said you are gay if you don’t like sports and you read books.
Turns out it was just a coincidence
It’s not that I don’t like sports, I don’t understand it.
There seems to be plenty of money in the sport. Why can’t they just BUY another ball and give one ball to BOTH teams?
I vividly remember my dad telling me football was “too complicated” to explain and so I just assumed it was some mystical unknowable sport and checked out of any conversation involving it.
It wasn’t until I was like 25 that I put any effort into understanding the sport and like… He could have just told me “we want the guys in blue to get the ball and run to the other side” and then we could have bonded over that. Weird thing to be lazy about as a dad.
US Football is a little more complicated than, say, hockey.
All you really need to know to enjoy hockey (other than the good guys need to put the puck in the other guys’ net) is the blue line. There are more rules than that, obviously, but once you understand that, the stoppage and player behaviors in hockey make a whole lot more sense.
In football, you’ve got four downs to go 10 yards at a time. You get six points for ending up in the end zone, and then you can either kick between the posts for one point, or try again for two points (not six points this time). You can kick between the posts at any time, too (but it’ll only get you three points). Sometimes, they just kick the ball way up and out to the other team. One of the teams can grab onto the opposing players, but not like that, except sometimes that’s OK, but never like that. Also jets flyover and a bunch of people play music in the middle of the field. 😵💫
And they still haven’t decided what the definitions of a catch, pass interference, taunting, unsportsmanlike conduct, roughing the passer, and holding are.
My favorite foul that happens every season: “Personal foul, number 42 Defense, not allowing a Tom Brady (or the star quarterback of the year) touchdown. Half the distance to the goal line. Repeat third down.”
Practically every sport can be boiled down to “2 groups of people disagreeing where a ball should go”.
Idk, in golf and bowling everyone seems to be agreement about where the ball should go, if not who should successfully get it there.
Bowling? Throwing a huge heavy ball at some things that don’t move?
Not very sportsman like.
Billiards too, but there are more destination options.
Exactly, WHY disagree?
Cooperative sports would be interesting. Two teams come in, and they need to get a ball through some obstacles together…
Because then no fighting over ball. Can’t have that, now can we?
Yeah! And why don‘t they ever get it right? Something always goes wrong and they have to do it all over again next year.
I don’t like sports, but I don’t like books either.
Am I bi?
I like sports and reading. Am I asexual or also bi?
Let’s find out!
By your father’s standards, I am gay.
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daddy*
The classic “if you eat watermelon seeds, one will grow in your stomach.”
Haha just told this to my daughter today
Oh boy, where do I start? I was raised by racist crack and meth addicts in the rural southern US.
Black people hate white people.
Black people are trying to replace white people on a genetic level (Great Replacement Theory).
Black people have smaller skulls and thus, smaller brains than white people, which makes them more ape-like and prone to aggression.
Black people are taller, run faster, and jump higher than white people because they have three extra muscles in their knee area. Basketball was a white people’s sport before they set the slaves free.
Black people drink and play loud music all the time because “that’s their culture”.
All black people are lazy moochers who cheat the welfare system for free money to drink and smoke crack all day because they feel entitled to it after slavery.
Black people actually liked slavery back in the day because they had a decent, simple life. Many of them begged to go back to the plantations after they were freed because they had nowhere else to go.
The world was a better place when black people were slaves because at least then, they worked. Now, you have them all sitting around, collecting welfare, having white people pay their bills for them. If you think about it, white people are the slaves now.
Just a little crack is fine, as long as you’re not an addict like those black people.
Beer is for white people. It doesn’t get you too drunk so you can still go to work. Black people don’t work, that’s why they drink liquor.
Birds have wings because they’re supposed to fly, that’s what they do. Women have wombs because they’re supposed to have babies, that’s what they do.
Men are supposed to have as many babies as possible because God says to be fruitful and multiply. But women are only supposed to have their husband’s babies to keep the bloodline pure.
I’m sure there are more, those are just the ones I haven’t repressed.
Perhaps this is not good etiquette, but basketball was actually invented by a white dude.
Basketball was invented well after the slaves were freed. Basketball came on the scene in 1891 (Juneteenth was 1865).
I suppose that could be true if you accept the false belief about when slavery ended
The only way to get somewhere in this life is to get a business college degree.
Burger flippers are worthless.
Trash collectors make terrible pay for dirty work conditions.
I love you.
Funny it’s the fattest, fast food eating fucks that say burger flippers are worthless. Idiots.
That’s my general response to that. Someone who pays a hooker for their services isn’t better than a hooker. Someone who pays McDonalds for a burger isn’t better than the guy cooking it. If you’re so much better than them, why the fuck are you paying them for their skills? Either you’re worth less than the lowest person in your own mental heirarchy, or - an idea - everyone is equally worthy.
Worthless? Do you know how important a good burger is? It’s one of the small pleasures in life that make everything else more tolerable. I will always hold good burger flippers in high regard. And if you’re a good burger flipper you can hold your head high knowing you’ve made someone’s day just a little better by making a tasty burger for them.
